it's inappropriate.

slowly but surely i'm coming back to attack

but don't get too excited because this week i have so much

crap in my calendar that i might as well just sleep in my car.

yesss. awesome.

no. not really.

ok.

it's inappropriate

for me to find a camwow picture kora left on my phone

that looks eerily similar to my friend mo-gin.

mo-gin? is that you?

why are you in my phone?

it's inappropriate

for me to spy this precious love

sleeping on his mommy during church.

AND THEN,

for me to ask her if i can steal him.

he was only 2 weeks old!!

what is WRONG with me?

ugh.

it's not like i don't already have forty thousand kids.

or that my lover isn't already snippity snipped.

bleh.

having womanly hormones isn't fair.

it's inappropriate

for my friends to ask me ridiculous questions.

because they will ALWAYS get a ridiculous answer.

did u hear?

i got a haircut. oy.

no no no. stopit. i know what you're saying.

"oh my gosh! it's so cute! u look adorable!"

(all in ur high pitched girl voice)

let me correct you.

it's cute

IN. THIS. PICTURE.

i'm having a really hard time with it

because i had long hair for sooo long.

soooo.

when i pull up behind a car like this.

and i'm already feeling very self concious about my hurrr...

it's inappropriate

for this dadgum car to laugh at me.

arghh.

i know what you're thinking and i don't like you, car!!!

it's inappropriate

for my Lover to even THINK

he should grow a mustache.

*shiver*

don't worry. everyone just calm down.

it's gone now.

its inappropriate

for my little isaak and gus

to sneak over to the neighbors house

and get into their after deployment celebratory cooler of beers

(which was sitting in the driveway unattended to (??))

and then

SMASH

everysingleone.

on the driveway.

bottles and cans both.

24 beers total.

what was even MORE awesome

(and by awesome i mean not really awesome at all)

was that my neighbor felt the need to

CHEW. ME. OUT.

over silly beers.

that we REPLACED for them.

*eyeroll*

gotta love ignorant people like that.

but the best part of this whole story?

the sweet voodoo doll package michele left on my porch

the next day.

*smile*

it's inappropriate

for me to spy a mannequin at dicks

that apparently my friend luke was the mold for.

dear luke,

you look better with a head.

love, jess.

it's inappropriate

for you to teach you children about good music

withOUT

including oldie but goodies from nsync.

oh joey. mmhmm.

though i must warn you,

by doing so, your children may be susceptible

to performing amazing dance moves

in their sleep.

which is NEVER a bad thing.

it's inappropriate

for me to always see this sign as i drive onto base.

because i immediately think it's saying something

completely different.

although still very applicable.

it's inappropriate

to perform any type of facial work in the bathroom

in any way OTHER

than sitting in your sink.

just so you know.

it's inappropriate

for you to text your father in law

(and 63239093498 other people you know)

a text as awesome as this.

but i still did.

and you should too.

do it. i dare you.

and. the. best.

its inappropriate

for my children to

ONCE AGAIN

melt into nothing on my floor.

smiles for the weekend. from me to you.

after hearing some sad news

(that unfortunately happens more often

than anyone would like to really know about.

if you have 2 minutes,

please leave her a comment and thank her for her ultimate sacrifice)

i felt like i needed a few smiles

that i'll gladly share with you.

insert, heart warming feelings, here.

i'm so thankful for the 5 precious personalities

that heavenly father has blessed me with.

jakey.

a shy one.

but stick him in front of a flip

and he's on fi-yuh!!

oh toughripper...

watch out ladies.

koko livy.

she loves katy perry, boys, softball

boys, video games and boys.

did i say boys?

ughh, i feel sick.

jeremiah.

a softy.

but a great big brother.

sweet enough to give you cavities.

isaak keith.

he has two sides.

a loyal little dude

who likes to cuddle with his mommy

and

salute every marine

that walks past him

with the utmost honor and respect.

or.

a wild and crazy

little afghany boy.

that will destroy everything

he comes in contact with.

you just never know.

gustopher.

dirty. rowdy. mean. lovable. delicious to the taste.

is that a contradiction?

each one is so unique.

so full of spirit. and fun. and smiles.

sometimes

i think they get it from me.

but then,

i go to pick up pizza with lover.

and as i wait for him in the car,

not paying attention,

i look up to find him planking on the grass.

with people walking around staring at him.

and then i realize,

nope.

they get it from him.

happy weekend!

what's on jessica's phone - i get around.

so i guess i had a pretty productive week

because i got a lot of good stuff this time.

well.

crap.

i shouldn't have said that

because now you have high expectations.

and what if i think my stuff is "good"

but you don't

which is likely?

then i just feel like dog poop

on the bottom of some one's shoe.

whatever.

let's do it.

i'll risk feeling like crap (literally)

for your entertainment.

don't i always?

go here for info if you wanna play with us!

candy cigarettes.

i was always to scared to buy these as a kid.

i thought to myself,

"when i grow up i'm going to buy those all the time."

but guess what?

now i'm to embarrassed to buy them.

dangit.

we're a little unconventional in our family.

sometimes we eat breakfast on the counter.

and sometimes

we have ramen for breakfast.

my new watch :)
ok. i know what you're thinking.
"sydney from daybook has that watch.
the hussy is just copying her. blah blah blah."
but, correction:
i got my watch A DAY before she got hers.
i swear.
it just took me two months to get it sized.
so i had it first.
just sayin.




boys ready for summer.

we're a little bit weird.
that's all.



i had a day off last week.
no babies from 9am-7pm.
i bought new bras.
i gallivanted in the streets.
i "ran in" to stores just for a quick peek.
i tried on clothes.
i bought honey booty joe's jeans.
and i ate fried catfish
all. by. my. lonesome.
and i was actually able to enjoy it this time.



oh.
and i also got my disaster of a car, cleaned.
and i found leather seats
under all the poo.
exciting.




i'm about 98.9% sure that
isaak will be a hairdresser when he grows up.
this is like his most favorite thing to do.
here he's washing kora's hair.
and looking darn cute.

sometimes,

penny likes daddy to sleep with him.

so my rambo is a difficult guy.

he doesn't let many people get close to him.

and guys?

especially not.

but on this particular day,

i guess kristi's husband was exactly what he needed.

and i can't lie

it almost made me tear up.

i can only imagine how big his hug will be

for daddy.

maybe i'm just odd.

ok, nevermind. that was dumb.

i AM odd.

i think we all know that by now.

but look at this logo.

i'm assuming it's supposed to be a longhorn.

but it looks so much like a jockstrap to me.

almost done.

i know i know.

this one is mega long and annoying.

i'm sorry.

actually i take that back. i'm not.

deal with it.

ramby's new hat.

a pullup.

he's going to let me borrow it on thursday

when i get my wisdom teeth taken out.

eek.

and the most radical besty for lasty mclasterama?!?

remember my day alone?

yes.

i totally went to the bathroom

in a store

and wrote on the wall.

because that's hot.

and suuuuuuuper romantical :)

let's all join hands (i mean links)

and play along!

*******

what's on jessica's phone - 1298903 hours late.

do you wanna know why

i'm not a big time blogger?

cuz i suck at deadlines.

and being organized.

and following up on things.

i'd totally be cjane.

or nienie.

psshh.

but i just CHOOSE not to.

*wink*

i used to be so good when i had my business.

then when i sold it,

i think i sold my brain too.

sorry.

i'll keep this open for tomorrow too

since i'm so lame.

go here for the deeeeetails on how to play.

but you don't really need rules

cuz i don't even follow them.

*shrug*

penny had another trip back to the allergist.

we're supposed to start slowly

introducing milk again.

i tried it the first day.

aaaaaaand

i won't be doing that again for awhile.

bad. idea.

so i'm a really bad mom

who let her baby get sunburned

:(

who knew u needed sunscreen in february?!

pawpaw cleaned out his pond this week.
that means they got to catch
allllll 28 fish in the pond
and entertain them while the pond was being de-goo'd.



sometimes you plan to meet a friend at the zoo.
and when you see each other there,
you're wearing the exact same outfit.
sweet.



sometimes penny gets hot.
so he just takes his shirt off.
in the middle of a store.
no biggie.



so the time has come
to begin preparations for Lover's return.
i can't even believe i'm saying that.
wow.
have i really almost finished this thing?!

so i got a haircut.



and i'm gettin my swoll on
thanks to my rockstar trainer
julia ladewski
from
work, wife, mom...life.

supermom in training.
AND
elite fitness.
if you don't know who she is, you're like an alien.
go here
to watch some of her awesomeness.
one day i'll be as tough as her. one day.




i love when people have no shame.
subway. at. mcdonalds.




so the other day i realized that
Lover has never seen gusser walk.
he wasn't walking when he left
and he can't watch online videos there.
so i decided to send him a picture
that shows gupper walking.



best for LAST.
you know the maxine cartoon?



well i found the real life maxine.
and yes,
she was wearing bunny slippers.

hold my hand and play with me!!

*******