slowly but surely i'm coming back to attack
but don't get too excited because this week i have so much
crap in my calendar that i might as well just sleep in my car.
no. not really.
for me to find a camwow picture kora left on my phone
that looks eerily similar to my friend mo-gin.
mo-gin? is that you?
why are you in my phone?
for me to spy this precious love
sleeping on his mommy during church.
for me to ask her if i can steal him.
he was only 2 weeks old!!
what is WRONG with me?
it's not like i don't already have forty thousand kids.
or that my lover isn't already snippity snipped.
having womanly hormones isn't fair.
for my friends to ask me ridiculous questions.
because they will ALWAYS get a ridiculous answer.
i got a haircut. oy.
no no no. stopit. i know what you're saying.
"oh my gosh! it's so cute! u look adorable!"
(all in ur high pitched girl voice)
let me correct you.
IN. THIS. PICTURE.
i'm having a really hard time with it
because i had long hair for sooo long.
when i pull up behind a car like this.
and i'm already feeling very self concious about my hurrr...
for this dadgum car to laugh at me.
i know what you're thinking and i don't like you, car!!!
for my Lover to even THINK
he should grow a mustache.
don't worry. everyone just calm down.
it's gone now.
for my little isaak and gus
to sneak over to the neighbors house
and get into their after deployment celebratory cooler of beers
(which was sitting in the driveway unattended to (??))
on the driveway.
bottles and cans both.
24 beers total.
what was even MORE awesome
(and by awesome i mean not really awesome at all)
was that my neighbor felt the need to
CHEW. ME. OUT.
over silly beers.
that we REPLACED for them.
gotta love ignorant people like that.
but the best part of this whole story?
the sweet voodoo doll package michele left on my porch
the next day.
for me to spy a mannequin at dicks
that apparently my friend luke was the mold for.
you look better with a head.
for you to teach you children about good music
including oldie but goodies from nsync.
oh joey. mmhmm.
by doing so, your children may be susceptible
to performing amazing dance moves
in their sleep.
which is NEVER a bad thing.
for me to always see this sign as i drive onto base.
because i immediately think it's saying something
although still very applicable.
to perform any type of facial work in the bathroom
in any way OTHER
than sitting in your sink.
just so you know.
for you to text your father in law
(and 63239093498 other people you know)
a text as awesome as this.
but i still did.
and you should too.
do it. i dare you.
for my children to
melt into nothing on my floor.