Saturday, August 6, 2011

it's inappropriate.

it's inappropriate...
to use your kid as a trash can
'cause you can't find any other place to stick
those annoying "inspected by" stickers.

it's inappropriate...
for a young hussy's hands to look this way.
but when she's
incredibly buffy mcbuffster
she's pretty much okay with it.
(even though i'm not any where near
as buff as my workout partner)

it's inappropriate...
for any public bathroom
to ask this of me.
are you kidding?
i don't care that you're at church
and all holy and clean.
still. no.

it's inappropriate...
to take advantage of the fact that you have boys
on long road trips.
and then to pour it out your window
when you're going 80 down the highway
with lover tailing you.
mmm. refreshing.

it's inappropriate...
to try to pronounce this company's name out loud
when jakob is sitting in the front seat
right next to you.

it's inappropriate...
to give your vertical blinds a cute bob'd haircut
to make the ugly window unit
feel more welcome.
yes. yes i did.

it's inappropriate...
to file your nasty nails during sunday school
right. next. to me.
not only because it's flippin LOUD,
it makes me feel like i have YOUR fingernail dust
in my mouth.

it's inappropriate...
for any girl
to have to do this repulsive act.

it's inappropriate...
to wear this little number
and to not even flinch
when you flash me your black panties
as the wind blows.
over and over and over.
oh wait,
this is jacksonville, nc.
never mind.
it IS appropriate.

it's inappropriate...
to push things that ask ever so nicely
not to be pushed.
but i do it anyway.

it's inappropriate...
for my phone to behave this way.
but what's even more inappropriate,
is how i want to slam it up against the wall
and then beat it with a bat
when it does.
i have a slight anger issue.

it's inappropriate...
for gus to try to escape.
but he doesn't care.
and so?
he persists.

IS it inappropriate...
for me to get these dixie cups on my truck?
because i really want them.

it's inappropriate...
to serve plank steak for dinner.
but how can you resist when it's so
mother frickin funny?

and besty fo yo lasty?

it's inappropriate...
never mind.
i'll just let this speak for itself.


Amber Nicole said...

I love that you take pictures like this! haha!

Also, I totally agree about the nail dust. Eww.
And the last pic... wow. just wow.

For the Love of French said...

Miah looks just like lover in that pic....he is so cute!

Unknown said...

that is one ginormous ba-donk-a-donk. um, it almost looks fake.

hopefully the lady from church doesn't read your blog, or I guess if she does...the problem will be solved.

Melissa said...

Haha I love all of your inappropriate-ness!!!

Estell said...

This is just priceless
I'd comment on every picture but i will not annoy lol
I cannot believe dat bum...I think she stuffs...
OH! and I think its pronounced Ko. Like just Co-op. lol I have a friend with that last name and I hope its the same all around...other wise theres some poor people out there throwing their Koc- well..throwing THAT word around lol

Anonymous said...

You are freakin' hiliarious!!

All those pictures of RANDOM people. You are too much! LOL How do you not get caught?

Love all your inappropriatenesses posts!!!!

Jordan Cole said...

OMG, I thought you weren't getting any better than the booty flash, but you whipped out this last photo...Priceless.

Caitlin said...

is the lady in the last photo wearing a onesie? and are her pants like unbuttoned? wtc is she thinking? lover and miah are twins. and i vote yes its inappropriate to get the dixie cups, thats why u should do it.

and did u ever blog about lovers reunion with the kiddos? i dont remember seeing it...just wondering.

jackie said...

there us just no way that last picture is real. no way.

Jessie K said...

If you want to know, it's pronounced "Cook." I grew up around there and we had a lot of "Cook-y" Kochs!

The Dixie are probably inappropriate but get them anyway!

Woah! Holy cow! Talk about a ghetto booty badonkadonk!!! She's got mine beat!

ines said...

i love this segment of you blog. it always makes me laugh :)

No Model Lady said...

Poor Little Brown:) I will laugh so hard the day you forget to turn your phone volume off and try to take a pic of someone. I hope she's big and butch and there's a chase involved. Ha!

Unknown said...

LOL love this post! You have no idea how many times on a road-trip I seriously consider peeing in a cup, and I'm a girl!... How's that for inappropriate?

Leslie said...

WHAT THE!? who DOES that??? really? she looked in the mirror after getting dressed and thought, "yeah baby! that's the stuff!" ??? bleh.

love these inappropriate posts. makes my day down right awesome!!


Allyson & Jere said...

Oh NO she di'int paint that number on her bootray. Thank you for sharing that picture, it was SO worth it! And yes, it was TOTALLY inappropriate!

i'm B. said...

haha, i thought of you this week...

it's inapropriate to see your four-year old daughter nekkid and think, "damn. she's gonna have a rockin' bod one day."

Vagabond Mother said...

It's inappropriate . . . to have a yeast infection. Poor lady.

Dashing Tales said...

I LOVE your inappropriate blog post! Thanks for the laughs on a Monday. :)

the nayz said...

Kay-gross to the road trip peein, lovin the plank steak and for the last pic--u m m m m m-there are no words.

amylouwhosews said...

um, how come I'm lame and am so far behind on reading your blog?! Thanks for the shout out, but I think your abs alone prove who's the buffer of the workout twins. :)