Saturday, June 25, 2011

i don't blog on the weekend.

'cept i do.
well today i do.
i got a contest to win people.
i can't be layin' around on my rear
doin' nuthin.
that was a lot of apostrophe's .

75 new followers in 2 days.
what in the mother truckin JUNK?!
are u kidding me?
who knew the power of the hussy's peeps?
i love you guys.
if i win this,
i promise to never leave you again
for as long as i did these past few months.

so i started crossfit yesterday.
which means,
i'll be able to kick your ass in a few months.
just kidding.
no really i could.
but i won't.
by the end of the summer i'll look this hot.
my boobs will magically grow.
(instead of just being tube socks with sand in the bottom)
i'll have long luscious black hair
(down to the nips of course)
and big lips
the perfected tan
(even the unladylike innards of my leggies)
and perfect clothes
and i'll be able to do my eye makeup
like a professional
every. single. day.

and my booty?
will still be just as big.
if not bigger.
crossfit supports ghetto badonkadonks.
for real, my butt is that big.
she watched it slap me in the back of my head
as i ran next to her on the treadmill.
(stop laughing bonnie and dena you tErds)

ok for real.
wtc is this post about anyway?
i think i just wanted to post a picture
of kim kardashian's butt
cuz i've never really seen it before
in all it's ghetto glory.
it makes me feel normal.

soon i'll be smokin hot
with crossfit sexiness radiating off of me.
but for now?

i'll just look like this.
which is okay too.

now go tell your friends to follow me.
do it.
happy weekend!!

oh oh oh.
my irreverent shoes?
from vickytoria's secret!!


Chrissy @ the Pearl Blog said...

hate to break it to you but your google follower thing is missing..

zoo keeper said...

wait wait what irreverent shoes? I missed something.

Shay said...

1. crossfit is NO joke and by the end you will indeed be badass. =)

2. thank you for telling me where your shoes are from, that helps me in my steps of becoming more awesome like you =)

3. why do i keep making smiley faces, i'm sure if it's creeping me out, it's probably creeping you out too. =)

4. kim kardashian has the best booty eva! i ask my husband all the time would he like it if i had a booty like that.. he responds with "no comment" hahhaahha

Bonnie said...

What the crap? Are you trying to guilt me into blogging? Ugh. Anyway, I did giggle at the thought of your butt hitting the back of your head. Ahhhh. I miss those days.

I'm actually excited to see regular posts from you! 951! Not bad, sister. Not bad at all.

vanessa said...

I have had a shiznitty day and your blog is making me giggle like a 12 year old. THANK YOU and thank you for sending me the link :)

Morgan Hagey said...

That kim kardashian bum is incredible... but in a good way? I'm not entirely sure. But I can't vote because I have NO bum. I mean, like, legs, crack, back. It's like, "Um, you're missing a body part." It's a bummer. BWHAHAHAHA! Get it? A bummer? Never mind.