Tuesday, December 14, 2010

hamilton. oh. and puke too.

most people spend the holidays with their families.
most people fly IN town to be near loved ones.

i'm not most people.
and i went OUT of town
to be with a friend for thanksgiving this year.
a friend, who i hadn't seen in two years.
and not just any friend,
a friend that i can call one of my very very BEST friends.
a friend that i had actually only spent 3 months with
to begin with.

with. with with with. with with.
just wanted to make sure i said 'with' enough times.

oh. fun. times.
this was the last picture of us taken in '08
before we moved to separate coasts.
it was a sad day.
do u like that scary random hand in the middle?
(creeeeeeeeepy. no but for real. it is.)
(ok. but what's creepiER is my chubby post isaak face. don't judge.)

so our trip started out fine!
2 miles down the road
and the lovely puke monster makes it's entrance.
so i turn around.
do some reconnaissance.
and then tried it again!

then about 10 miles down the road
on a busy highway going 75 mph.
i heard a bloody murder scream from koko.
isaak had tossed his daddy doll out the window.
Lover and his sweet stuffed puffiness
was getting mauled by speeding cars.
and it was
not. pretty.
everyone in the car started crying.
it was as if Lover was ACTUALLY
lying in the middle of the highway,
flashing his "i love you" sign,
getting hit by cars.

after about 30 minutes of crying.
then moaning.
then silence.
and then having to explain to isaak,
"no we can't go get a new daddy at the store",
we recovered.
everyone was starving so i pulled into a drive thru.
as i waited in line.
one of these nasties...
strolled. right. in front. of me.

maybe i should have turned around at that point.
but i like bonnie.
and i wanted to bring her my vomiting kids,
and bad luck.
good friends do that. they share a lot.
3 hours later,
we showed up in honky hamilton, tx.
and then the kissing baby fest began.
i like to call this,
"let's share all our germs right away!"
isn't morgan super cute?
this is bonnie's niece.

and then morgan's mom
(bonnie's sister)
who is just as, if not MORE, super cute.
and bonnie's lovie baby fischer.

the two heathens reunited
as if no time had ever passed.

and the rest of the gang
just meshed right in with all the cousins.

then that night,
gus and penny decided to keep me up
and did a little of this.
can you hear it?
can you hear two babies puking?
awesome. like music to my ears.

the next day i'm up with tired eyes,
but ready for some mega super fun at bonnie's brother's house.
yes, that's his name.
no, it's not his real name.
but it's his fake real name.
anyway, his name doesn't matter.
this dude has a freakin
children's wonderland
for a backyard.

this was isaak's face when he first saw the zipline.

and of course he had to try it out.
he was in heaven.

if you're wondering,
yes, i did the zipline.
yes, my limbs were flailing.
yes, my undies were in full view.
yes, i got dog poo on my shoes.
yes. it was awesome.

the bigger kids spent their time between the homemade fort that was totally frickin cool.
and the frog filled pond.
kora informed me that she caught a tadpole in EVERY stage of life.
see, we can totally homeschool.

izey was concerned about the dogs
when he saw them lay on the ground.
he kept telling me that they fell down.

thumper and izey became best buds fast.
ever since Lover's been gone,
isaak always clings to men when he sees them.
he once held a random guy's hand at target.
he also ate lunch with a dad and his son at mcdonalds.
i think he needs a shirt explaining his male crave right now.

this particular male crave made my heart smile.
i don't think i've seen penny so perky since Lover left.
he could not stop talking about thumper.
maybe it was because thumper was super adventurous and fun
unlike penny's beat down lazy tired mother right now.

maybe it was because thumper had beer.
i'm not really sure but i have my theories.

we've sure missed thumper since we left.
and not only thumper, but his amazing wife.
did you know she made ALLL of us dinner?
almost every.
yea i know. she's frickin rad.
will you come over and take care of me?

then that night we went home and puked some more.

going on day 3 or 4 with no sleep
required us to spend a lot of time
at chicken express getting dr peppers.

wanna know why?
because of this.
ever had dublin dr pepper?
made with real sugar?
you can get it at costco (so i hear)
but lemme just say,
it's waaaaay yummier out of a fountain on yummy ice.
oh dear.

don't worry.
we shared it with all our white trash kids.
and we also shared our germs along with our cokes.
we wanted to make sure everyone was puking
by the time our trip was over.

the sweet girlies played SO WELL together.
i love watching my kids have fun with other kids.
it's actually kind of hard to find friends you like,
as well as liking their kids.
most people are totally cool.
and then their kids are freakin terrors.
i'm just now realizing this blog post sucks.
not feeling it tonight.
crazy girlies.

pretty girlies.

and then go to bed.
barf barf barf barf and more barfy mcbarfster.
ahhh. that feels nice.
and smells really nice too.

on thanksgiving day we traveled Allllllllll the wayBACK to rockwall
to party with my family.
bonnie and i got to be all dressed up
and create a NEW most recent picture for the archives.
we age well, huh?

bonnie WOULD have had a good time
except she spent the whole day
boobin her babe in this corner.

i spent the day talkin to my lovely sister.
good times. i love my sisters.

izey spent the day eating banana pudding.
(definitely NOT on his new restricted diet now)

he tried to share with gussy.

but gussy wanted to get his own.
and by that i mean,
spread germs.

and then that night,
you guessed it.
ralph. vomit. gag. dry heave. puke puke and pukey.
and let's throw a fever in there
just for fun, no?

our last day came faster than we wanted it to.
but we went out with a bang and took some video footage.
for a hussy video of course.
that will be continued for a later date.
when i have more time.
and less kids.
and more Lover.

we made sure to take pictures of us in our makeup
doing everyday activities.
we like to make things look natural.

that's me being natural.

that night we packed up.
barfed barfed and puked some more.

kissed all our friends goodbye.
*cough* spread germs *cough*

and then left early the next morning.
but not without some barf in the car.
who doesn't love barf in carseats?
i do.
i love it. i love how it looks cottage cheesy.
i love the smell too. it's awesome.
barf is cool.
not really.
actually not at all.
i hate barf.
but it suuuuuure loves me and my family.
stupid barf.

i miss my hamilton friends.
and my bonnie.
but it's sure nice to be home.
barf is always better at home.
thank you waltons for everything!!


Bonnie said...

Because I'm super selfish... this is my favorite post ever!! Maybe because it said Bonnie over and over, or because it had pictures of our children having fun together... or maybe because it made me feel like it was just like in Virginia and you lived close to me and we spent everyday at the gym and Mcdonalds together. I miss those days.

I think that all the vomiting that I had to clean up because you brought your germy kids to see me was totally worth it and I would do it all over again... but next time I think you should stay longer (say 3 years) and we should do it in California and Dave & Lover should join.
Couple things:

Our girls are freakin gorgeous!!!

The play by play of Lover Doll makes me laugh every time I read it.

Oh and we look goooood. I think that by the time you move here, we will be burning up the internet with our sexiness.

AND I miss you.

ashley @ little miss momma said...

Contrary to what you belive, this was a fabulous post and I read every word of it! I especially loved reading about isaak and thumper--it made me crack up AND cry!

Unknown said...

love the lover doll part. not a fan of the barf....lol. i almosted gagged :) Good post!

♥ Dani said...

What a trip! Thank you for showing pumpkin puke instead of people puke. You, your family, AND all of your friends are GORGEOUS... sick or not! Thanks for the laughs. :-)

A Beautiful Life said...

i'm sorry everyone had the pukes...and still does.
I wish I had the pukes, i need to lose a good 10lbs...

i'm so very glad you got to hang with good bestie friends, i'm sure you needed that!!

i think izey and lover's stand-in Thumper are preciousness (my kids do this too, it's so obvious, but what can you do when they miss their daddies??)

you and bonnie are too beautiful, you can stop it now.

Chernobyl said...

Two words for you Jessica. B.R.A.T. diet. I love visiting with old friends - glad you had a blast, but seriously - brat diet. Less puke = more fun.

Jewels said...

I think I caught some barf germs just reading this post. :)

Getting together with friends you haven't seen in forever is AWESOME!! I'm glad you had a good time - minus the barfy mcbarfster.

zoo keeper said...

poor babies and mama!
My girls have Kora's shirt FYI
and holy SEXINESS you and Bonnie are HAWT! and LOOK ate all the SUPER white teeth!

Kelli Nolen said...

I think this was an excellent post. Seriously, how could you go wrong when you are talking about THE WALTONS?
I loved finally getting to meet you. You are just as beautiful and funny as Bonnie said you were. I can certainly understand her attachment to you.
I am, however, a little bummed that you did not include a photo of me with a leaf drawn over my eye and limbs in my hair!

TanyatheMom said...

You look freakin' fab as always, and you NEVER had "chubby" face :-). Anywho, sometimes the trips with the most drama end up leaving the most lasting memories. Glad you guys had a great time, and I hope Penny is doing ok without his Daddy Doll. That was funny but sad :-(.

Justine said...

Iassak's face! AH! So funn!

Just Better Together

Nicole Dianne said...

boo for so much puke barf nastiness everywhere! your posts are never boring so dont you even sweat that :)

Camilla said...

Fun post. I loved Bonnie's boobin' hideout, too funny. I wish I got to see both of you more often (seeing you at all would be progress, I guess). No more barfing though, seriously.

Tai Bender said...

I am sure the puke sucked more than I can imagine but this post is hilarious! tai @ taidye original

Charity said...

Sounds like a lot of fun...*cough cough* No really. I want to play in that backyard. That pumpkin is seriously disturbing.

Shannon said...

Isaaks face when he saw the zipline is one of the greatest things I've ever seen!

I also think it's so cute and awesome that not only are you two best friends, but you look like sisters and even your kids look alike! How crazy and fun is that?!

Annie said...

that was funny :) sorry to hear about daddy doll. lol.

kali said...

Can't wait to see the new hussy video!

I think I cried a little about daddy getting ripped to pieces on the highway. :(

And, sorry about all the barf. My son threw up in my hair at 2am the other night. It was awesome.

No Model Lady said...

This post made me feel a little queasy with all the Bonnie lovin' and puke. Glad you had fun, though!

dena said...

too many thoughts to record, but they can all be summed up in....so glad you guys got the time together!!!!!!

okay, never mind, i'll hit some highlights...your face wasn't chubby and i love your rosy cheeks.

fischer is SO irresistable. bonnie...how CUTE IS HE?!

i still think emmalyn's hair is the best!

you and bonnie DO age well. you both look amazing!

Lindsay said...

(izey gag noise) phew.. that was tough. thanks for giving it to me too when i came.. i would have felt left out. :) i'm glad you left lucas out though.. he's such a party pooper. k.. i'm bored.. bye.

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this post and laughed and laughed. Sorry to enjoy your sad stories so much, but I needed a good laugh.