Wednesday, October 20, 2010

guppy lyn = 1.

i know, i know.
i know what you're thinking.
i'm late.
ugh.
i hate that.
i mean it's okay to be late on birthdays sometimes,
but on the first one?
i sure suck.
i seriously have no time these days.
zip.
zero.
zilch.
anywho.
back to the subject of sweetness.
my gusser man?
well, he turned 1 last saturday the 16th.
mmm, hmmm.
that's right.
he was extra special.
cuz i birthed him au naturale!
yeeeeea, that's right.
i'm still braggin.
cuz i can.
pictures courtesy of my lovely candace.

my yummy deliciousness.
my little cowboy with greasy face.

who would have thought
that this tiny baboon,

would turn into such a handsome guppy guy.
me.
i knew it.
i knew he'd be so cute
you'd wanna eat his face with a spoon.
and i was right :)



to celebrate,
we decided to take a trip to the dallas zoo.
or maybe that was already planned
coincidentally on guppy's birthday.
anyway.
we met my lovely surster there,
amy.
the radical photog.
who is such the bizness woman,
she can't even put her phone down
for a picture with her hussy sister.
whatever.


we also had my parentals there to play with us.
or maybe to keep us in check.
sometimes we get out of line.
daddy.


and mutha.
who graciously pushed my stroller
the. whole. day.
do you know how helpful that is?
i can't wait until all my kids can be trusted to walk
unassisted.


can i just say,
i'm not an animal pictureER taker.
i hate taking pictures of the animals unless they're doing cartwheels
you can google animals if you wanna see what we saw.
this is the only picture of any animal that i took.
gay, i know.
that's just how i am.
get over it.



what i do like to do is...
photoshoots!!!
(sing the cover girl song here)



why are the bronze statues in zoos
always more popular than the animals?

freak.
i feel like this blog post sucks.
i'm not feelin it today.
sorry.


i noticed some interesting things being at the zooey mczooster.
1. lady bird was there.
sorry lady.
at least your feathers are pretty and bright.
and there's a creepy man staring at you on the far right.
hey that rhymes.



not only that, but i saw all my owc sisters.
hikin up their skinny pink leggies.

why do i love pictures of my kids from the back?
i seriously take like a million of these pictures.
i spare you by not posting them all.
i guess it makes me feel all artsy.
like i'm a photographer
but i'm not.
but i am.


if you haven't noticed,
i'm a very observant person.
and while at the zoo.
i observed,
that the zoo is perverted.
it is.
it's true.
whoever made the zoo?
has a perverted mind.

take for example this trash can.
hmm.
is it boobs?
is it staring at me?
do u stick ur hands in?
both hands?
at the same time?
do u get anything in return?
what do u feel in there?
do u hold ur own hands once u stick them in?
i'm confused.
all i know is i get a perverted vibe.


or how bout this fancy sign.
now wait,
you have to read it in a
slooooow
deeeeep
sultry voice.
seriously. am i right or am i right?
that's so perverted!!

or maybe

i just have perversion on the brain.
it has been 2 months.
OKAY.
let's move on...


on a whole 'nother note.
i noticed that we got a lot of cousin love that day.
we've missed our cousins for quite some time.
and they grew up.
a lot.



but the love was all the same.
like we never even left.
aaaaaand...

some of us wish we hadn't come back.
not miah though.
no.
he's not super totally uncomfortable in this picture.
he hasn't had enough of his cousin lauren loving him.
nope.
he didn't try running away from her at every zoo spot
or ignoring her cries, "miiiiiiiaaaaaahhhh!!!"
nuh uh.
he loves being smothered.
just look at his face.
it says it all.


the best thing i noticed
was that pawpaw and izey penny guy
are pretty much best pals.


...and then

we stripped off all our clothes
and ran butt nEked through the water falls.

wait, what?

nooo. not really.
but that would have been some birthday to remember.

instead we just went to the waterfalls and cooled off
after our long zoo day.
and were everyone else's kids nude?
no.
but that's how i roll
cuz i'm trashy like that
and when we have fun,
we go all out.



except guppy.
he's modest.

he likes to stay clothed and wet.
like the wet t-shirt contests.
except way more precious
and way less sexy.

he stayed at this water hole almost the entire time.
he was so proud of himself for finding a wood chip.
aaaand, that was his birthday present.
see how easy he is to please?
and cheap too.
gosh.
cheap.



random side note:
wouldn't it be nice
to just birth all your kids at once?
in a big egg?
wait. okay nevermind.
*visual of kate gosselin's after belly pops in head*

yea.
nevermind.


things got pretty crazy
after we stayed there for a bit.
i realized guppy is actually a large human-ified spider.
he's cute and sweet from afar.
looks innocent.
but the minute you turn your back,
take a look at that third frame.
deee-zam. that's scary.
and then after?
he says, "what? i dunno what you're talkin about."



next thing i know, i turn around and

penny's gone all sports illustrated on me.

gooooood night irene.
that is hot.
look at that clavicle.
his positioning is impeccable.
almost like he learned it from watching someone else do it.
like maybe a parental figure.
i dunno.
i'm just sayin.



so i assumed brains were gettin fried in the sun,
or maybe it was just naptime that was causing all this craziness.

we did one last picture of all the cousins
(minus lucas. boo.)
in a big 'ole nesty. mcnester
and then called it a day.


wait.
not yet.
we called the zoo a day.
then we went home,
napped.
and woke up to eat cake!!

guppy was excited.
he loved his birthday song.
it took a moment for him to be comfortable with his cake.


but not long after,
he went all buck wild with it.
in true lowe fashion.
own that cake guppy lyn.
own it.
it's all you.


and what's a lowe birthday
without our traditional family photo?!

that may or may not have been the same outfit i wore the day before.
i'm just sayin.
if you saw me? then close your eyes.


awww.
i love my sweet family :)



dear, guppster,
happy one year to you.
i love you through and through.
your eyes make me smile,
and every once in a while
i try to eat you with a spoon
cuz i'm a mom that acts like a goon.
love, mommy

love you guppy lyn.
*smooch*


16 comments:

kimmy said...

hahaha...he does strike a pose rather well! pervert. :)

dena said...

he was the cutest tiny baboon EVER.

happy birthday gus!!!!!!!!

The WholeFamDamily said...

oh my gosh, he is the sweetest, i can't believe he's 1 yr old! makes me sad i never had a boy, but there are women out there who never have girls so ya take what u get, haha.
Izey with Paw Paw needs to be framed, that is too adorable!!!
and yes, you are SUPER white trash for letting your babies go i the fountain in their diapers..Ghet-to!!
i love the family pic, i also love the pics of gussy eating his cake and looking at the flat lover head kind of spooked out, ahhahaha!

zoo keeper said...

aww you're almost out of a diaper bag!
Happy 1st birthday to GusGus!
oh! and you and pawpaw in that photo, well he looks like he could EASILY be your brother.

Missy said...

After reading this post, I launched a full-on Google search to find pictures of Kate Gosselin's stomach and was successful. Dang...

Kristina P. said...

There's nothing like pictures of naked children. Awesome.

I can't believe how much hair he had!

Ellen said...

I can never get through one of your posts without HYSTERICALLY laughing! If you are ever stationed in Charleston, Call me! We would be Fast friends!

Justine said...

You are SO hilarious! I am reading this at work, and I almost cracked out laughing when I read about the man staring at the bird lady,the sign, the pose of your son...I love you all!



Just Better Together

natalicious said...

First and foremost you ARE awesome! Awesome wife, mama, daughter,sister,friend, blogger etc... Reading ALL of your posts brings back so many memories of my younger years when my babies were in fact... just babies! Looks like gussy had a fab 1st birthday!! Loved ALL the pics my fav was of course izzey's sports illustrated pose good work lil' mama!! Thanks for sharing.. it always brings smiles to my days :D

Camilla said...

he's so yummy, i want to eat his face with a spoon too! happy birthday to the little guppy.

Kristy said...

Aww, what a tribute really! Yes, some day they will be too big for the stroller, or they won't want the stroller, and you will finally understand why some people put their kids on leashes.

Maranda said...

Happy birthday little man!!!

Julia said...

i'm cracking up. i made hubby read that sign in his slow deep sultry voice. it was pretty funny.
girl, you crack me up

Michelle said...

Happy Belated Birfday! Oh and by the way "goony" moms are the best....just sayin.

Ashley said...

HA! I knew I saw you today!

Sorry... very stalkerish. Passed you coming out of Hobby Lobby. Couldn't figure out why you looked familiar. I had stumbled upon your blog awhile back and forgot to save it. Retraced my steps and yep... it was you :)

I am officially following now :)

Donna said...

That is one seriously cute baby! Happy birthday!