Friday, July 2, 2010

roadkill winners - announced.

voting has ended
and the results are IN.
we now have an official winner for
the lowe family news
annual roadkill contest 2010.
but first,
let's take a stroll
through all the wonderful entries!
**sleeping beauties.
let's start off this category with a lovely beaver
sent in by melissa n.
besides a little blood puke,
this guy could simply be taking a nap.

a cardinal.
found resting in the parking lot.
sent in by kim d.
i guess some people can't take more
than a few hours of shopping.
pshh...loser bird.
but that beak,
ooooh, i want it.
and a fancy fox
laid to rest in the back forty.
sent in by shaunaaaaa w.
death never looked so good.

**slithery slimy snakes.
i was THIS close
to putting this baby in the top 4.
sent in by stephanie t.
usually snakes don't have guts like this and if they do,
they aren't found gallivanting across the highway.
i love this guy.
no this isn't the latest pattern
for a father's day tie.
these are snakes.
82938385221982 snakes.
all sent in by kris m.
uhmm, can someone say obsessed?

**non-roadkill silliness.
this is why i love my friends.
they have my same humor.
sent in by kathy g.
i guess she felt that no life was too sacred to take
for a roadkill win.

and this is why
i'm always afraid to back my car out of my driveway.
who knows what tiny person i may crush.
sent in by dena f.
apparently she isn't as cautious as i.

**creativity with dead animals.
who said i can't be one of those crafty blogs.
i got craftiness. psshhh.
how bout a dead bunny,
being hovered over by a large vulture.
sent in by ken f.

or maybe a fluffy squirrel
who didn't quite make it in front of that car.
sent in by sarah h.
i love her excited face.
her hunched over, "make sure i'm in the shot" pose.

and sarah h. doesn't stop there.
this may be nothing more than a mere frog.
but she takes up close and personal
to a whole new level.
the enthusiasm here cracks me up.
i'm lovin this girl.

how about a little
before and action shots here?
sent in by kim d.
before rain, the squirrel was dead.
after the rain, the squirrel was still dead.
just in case you were wondering.
this one actually made me cringe a little.
sent in by amber w.
i couldn't help but picture that tiny bird
accidentally falling off that tiny stick,
and into that large mouth.
on a good note,
those stiff bird legs are quite nice.
**whiskey tango foxtrot.
this group is dedicated to those things
that will never be explained.
sent in by lindsey r.
a horse?
a donkey?
a horse eating a horse leg?
where is his body?
guts in his mouth?
i'm so confused.

this one is actually more clear,
but the torrential aftermath
is quite fuzzy. literally.
sent in by david eugene.
was it skinned?
where are the insides?
and most importantly,
can i make a davy crockett hat outta that tail still?

this is my favorite part.
can u hear it's last scream?

and of course, who could forget
the ooey gooey ball of ???
another one sent in by lindsey r.
i still have no clue what this could be,
but like kim said, i can definitely smell it.

**still twitching.
dedicated to those animals that aren't quite sleeping,
but aren't completely demolished.
say hello again to the deer with bed head.
sent in by staci m.
any minute this guy is just gonna jump up and shake it off.
i swear it.

whats a little meat smeared across the street?
who needs two kidneys anyway?
sent in by miss annie g.
fly away little bird,
open those eyes and fly away.
"lemme just catch my breath for a moment.
and then i'll be fine."
sent in by emily r.
or like my mutha always used to say,
"i'm just resting my eyes."

even though i'm lying here on the playground.
i'm still safe within my placental sack.
i'm sure it's hot enough outside to continue to cook me.
i'll be fine.
my mother just kicked me out of the nest,
but i'll be fine.
no worries.
i'm sure it was only an accident.
sent in by rita c.
how sad is this?
and lastly,
i 'heart' guts.
the whole purpose for
the annual roadkill contest,
is to please my need for fresh guts.
and it came down to these two final contestants.
the crocodile crossing the street
sent in by kristin b.
with 52 votes.
and the deliciously, nutritious,
meaty, i wanna steak, blood and guts
sent in by david eugene.
with 53 votes.
which makes
the armadillo,
the NEW reigning winner
of the lowe family news
annual roadkill contest 2010.
your fabulous vintage red step stool,
is on it's way!

and now for the trophy awards.

the most heartless award.
this goes to rita c.
for taking a picture of a
who is now homeless,
still twitching,
and sad.
because it's mother doesn't love it anymore.
instead of taking the bird into your own home,
and creating a incubator tank with bright lights
to bring it back to life,
you took a picture.
i love that about you.
you're trophy will soon arrive at your door.
the best poser.
aka: rule follower.
aka: teachers pet.
this goes to sarah h.
for the smashed frog
because you made sure that your fancy mug
was in all your entries.
like i asked.
and not only that,
you made it fun.
and even though your roadkill was lame,
it made me smile to see your face beside it.
that deserves recognition.
email me with your address
and your trophy will be on it's way.

nasty mcnastifier,
i can smell that from here.
this award goes to lindsey r.
because never, in the history of roadkill
(or the future for that matter)
will anyone ever find a mysterious ball of goo
such as the one you found.
i just wanna know what that was.
email me your address
and you're toilet trophy will be on it's way.


the fun isn't over yet.

as part of my NEW tradition for

the annual roadkill contest,

i am in the process of creating t-shirts

withe my radical artist sister.

for EVERYONE who participated,

you will recieve a tshirt,

just because, i love you.

hang tight on that one, it may be a few weeks, my designer is out of pocket.

please remember that i accept roadkill




so send it in and i'll save it for

roadkill 2011!!

until then, happy hunting!


Kristina P. said...

This is the worst, and best, post I have read in a very long time. Wow. I wish I had submitted a picture of me running over cardboard Edward.

Valinda said...

Annie LOVES seeing her pictures on your blog and is going to be on the look out for next year's WINNING picture. Thanks for all the fun!

Staci said...

Yay I love how everyone wins..infact i would prefer a tshirt that lindsay creates over anything else. The winner was a good one I still think of raspberry jam when i see it. Great yr for road kill....I'm always on the hunt.

Lindsey from The R House said...

you are literally insane.

and it is the reason why i adore you! LOL

Lindsey from The R House said...

and there was no way i was getting this pretty face anywhere NEAR that dead deer. you should have seen the things that were crawling out of it!

Stephanie Kelly said...

HECK YES, I was so proud to see the picture of my pathetic snake (I should of told people it was a rattle snake that would of been cooler). And HECK YES to the winners they sooo deserved it, those road kills where delish! And a third HECK YES, to the Lindz shirt wahoooo (as I jump up in the air and do a toe touch kick)

Kris said...

Those were all great! And I saw 3 different dead snakes in like a week, then no more roadkill. What were the odds? So I had to send them all. There was a pretty ripe and well preserved skunk right by the church that I thought about submitting right after the deadline. I'll keep my eyes peeled for some peeled eyes...

The Nugen's said...

I'm thrilled to be your FIRST photo! Those are some great photos. I'll be on the lookout for roadkill so I can win next year! And a shirt...I am SO excited!!

Unknown said...

darn it! i should have sent in my pics of the wrapping paper!! i want a tshirt. :(

dena said...

woo hoo!!! t-shirt!!!!

i was pulling for the gator, but hey who can argue with a 1 vote win (ouch!) from the dillio. nasty stuff people!

moosh in indy. said...

2011? I will rock your damn dead animal socks off.

Indiana roadsides are like the Guggenheim of dead animal carcasses.

Kristin said...

Man! I lost by one vote! Was I supposed to vote? If so, I could have at least tied. At least my awesome photo will go down in infamy.

Candace said...


zoo keeper said...

Wow....i've GOT to get my game on for next year!

Ryan & Laura said...

once upon a time,
I thought my cat was a vehicle of sorts. I even went RIGHT up next to the smushed cat remains and I SWEAR it was my kitty...


She came back to life. One a Friday night she returned.

I went and looked at, AND cried over and dead cat on the side of the road that wasn't even mine.

After reading this post I wish I would have taken a photo.

joven said...

beautiful blog..pls visit mine and be a follower.. thanks and God bless..

joven said...

beautiful blog..pls visit mine and be a follower.. thanks and God bless..

joven said...

beautiful blog..pls visit mine to,and be a follower..thanks and God bless..

Amanda said...

So, I saw some really awesome roadkill on our little road trip we took and every time I saw it I thought about you and your contest! But it was really hard getting a pic going 70 mph and the hubs wouldn't stop!!!

{Erica} said...

love your blog so super cute! come check out my blog and become a follower.

p..s road kill is just so darn cute!


love_b said...

I was blog hopping and came across your blog, and I am in love. Like for reals. I wish we could be friends in real life cause I think we would be BFF'S like for real. I said for real a lot, because..well, I am for real about this! Thanks for the giggles!!!!

David and Teresa said...

Jessica, I must leave a comment that I TRULY enjoyed seeing all of the roadkill pics and mostly your comments about each picture. You make me smile and I couldn't sleep anyway so why not smile and giggle. Love you Baby. Mutha

Justine said...

I love your blog! This roadkill contest is hilarious! I enjoyed looking at the pictures too. I'm still sitting here munching on my bowl of blueberries.