Monday, November 2, 2009

Junk I wanna remember

1. Some of you have asked if I attempted the ever frustrating and stressful BOOBING again with this baby and my answer to you is...NO NO NO 100% NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. I didn't really question the fact except for like ONE day when I asked my Lover if I should at least pump my colostrum for the baby to have and he said...uhmmm...NO. Not that he isn't supportive of boobing, but he knows the stress that follows it...for ME at least. So when baby August arrived I had on my super tight sports bra which I lived in for the first two weeks. Engorgement was a killer, as usual, but I made it through changing boob pads like a mad woman so I wouldn't be caught walking around with wet circles on my shirt. One girl decided to call it quits after the first week but my left girl kept going strong up until about...oh wait, she still is going. Not bad, but for some reason she feels it necessary to continue supplying milk to a mouth that isn't needing it. She's slowing down, but because of her, I've been wearing one single boob pad to protect myself from her outbreaks. I guess Penny has been keeping close tabs on all my NEW habits since the baby arrived and the other day he found my makeup remover cotton pads, took one out, and slipped it in his Mom. I was proud. He walked around all day with that thing in and even napped with it. Very observant, right? Although, wrong side.

2. The boobing issue leads me to my next subject...anti-depressants. Misty and a few others have been asking me how I am and I'm sorry for not answering, but I was planning on typing it all out here so I didn't wanna do it twice. So I started on Zoloft before I had the baby, had bad side effects and Doc told me to get off until after the baby.

In the hospital, he prescribed me Effexor XR which I started taking just a day or two after coming home.

AGAIN, same issues. No headaches but MAJOR MAJOR drowsiness. Like constant yawning and I could barely keep my eyeballs open on TOP of being already post preg tired. It was horrible. I felt like I was becoming MORE depressed because of how tired I was every day. I couldn't do a THING except sit on the couch and sleep.

I finally told myself to get OFF the pills and try it alone.

So I did.

And then, the heavens opened! I'm still tired a LOT of the time but it's normal post preg tiredness. I don't feel like a zombie walking around anymore, I feel like a tired Mom of a newborn which is as "normal" as I should feel right now anyway.

And depression?


Personally, I have my own opinions about MY PPD. Others will probably disagree, but I'm speaking for ME and ME only. The two times I had bad PPD were with Jakob and Isaak. Ironically, the only times I tried the whole boobing crap were with...

Jakob and Isaak.

So to me, this says that boobing is the root of my depression. I THOUGHT I'd be depressed with this one, assuming that because I'd been depressed before...and bad too, but I forgot to take into account each individual situation which makes a HUGE difference. Plus I was SUPER depressed at the end of this pregnancy so it seemed to me that for sure I'd be depressed afterwards. Turns out not. For Moms who don't have issues with boobing, you probably don't suffer like us Moms that DO have issues so you will never understand. To ME, I now know what causes my PPD, it's boobing. For others, it may be something else. And I don't care what anyway else has to say about it really. As important as I think boobing is, it's NOT important enough to ME to put myself and my family in a bad situation.

So there's that. I'm drug free and I'm doing FIIIIINE :)

3. Penny just brought me a stick of opened Crisco and as I was cleaning it up, I realized he had been stuffing it in his ear. Lovely.

4. The name AUGUST LYN. Okay here's the story, although it's not all exciting and mystical like i think you guys are hoping it is. We didn't have a CLUE on a boy name...obviously, I mean we've used up HALF the baby boy names on our already boy laden family. We DID know that we loved Scout, we loved old names and we loved that all our kids have at least ONE family name (either first or middle). So we played around for a long time. Samuel? Samuel Scout? Nahhh...then one day I was sitting on the couch with my Lover and my phone. Ahhh, my lovely phone :)

So anyway, I decided to google "baby boy names from the 1800's" and up pops a big long list of about 50 names. I started to read them all off. My Lover listened to each name, staying silent. I didn't think he really cared or was even paying attention, UNTIL I said...


"THAT'S IT!" he shouted! That's the name. August Lowe.

For some reason, it felt right and we both knew that would be his name! Now for the middle. We still loved Scout but it sounded wrong with August so that was out. Plus I really wanted him to have a family middle name since all the kids had a family name. We sat on it for a few days until I was in the car one day driving and it came to me that his middle name should be Lyn, like my middle name. I called My Lover and told him that his name would be August Lyn.

And that was that! It was chosen!

Dena was actually my sweet friend who told me about Gus being a nickname and I LOOOVED it right away! I wasn't big on Augie so Gus seemed perfect :)

5. It's been just over 2 weeks since little Gus was born and I've dropped 23 of my 45 pounds I gained during pregnancy. Most of it being water I'm sure because I'm still peeing allllll the time and throughout the night as well. It sucks. I was hoping that part would be over but I guess if pounds are still falling off, I'm okay with peeing.

I've been walking to the school and back to drop off and pick up Miah each day and I feel great when I do. No heaviness in the nether regions like I usually have. I can't wait to start running again. I tried my Taebo workout today thinking I was totally cool with doing and


It kicked my butt. Just the basic level AND I couldn't even finish it. I started feeling all faint and dizzy. So instead I ate two swiss rolls. Then I felt good again.

6. I still have NOTHING to wear but I'm not gonna complain because guess what...



7. I'm buying a camera this week! I've been putting it off for a while because it hurts my brain to think of which one to get. I don't want it to crap out on me again like the last two. But enough is enough, I'm buying it NOW so good blog pictures are in the near future and maybe, just MAYBE...a wanna be. But of who? Ideas?

8. Okay gotta run. Blogger was acting up on me last night and only letting me visit private blogs. The NON privates were taking FOREVER to load for some reason so I'll give it another go round tonight. Look for me on urs!!


nat said...

Yay, I'm glad things are going so well and your not depressed!!!!!

Michael DeSa said...

Ooo, as soon as you are ready, let's go running together! Ya know, since I run past your house everyday anyways...

Vagabond Mother said...

Before we had kids, we met a baby Gus on a hike and LOVED THE NAME. We were thinking Augustus, but then of course, Raymond's name was Raymond and Henry was Henry. I am so glad you used August, it's such a great name.

I've been on Celexa since August or July or something. I think I've been asleep since then too. Is that better than crying?

Penny made me laugh. Awesome.

I just want you to know I have a crush on you and LOVE LOVE reading your blog. Maybe one year we'll meet.

Valinda said...

Yay for feeling better! Yay for the great name of your little Asian cutie! Yay for looking at my blog :)

Laura said...

K. You answered alot of questions that have been floating in my brain for awhile. I like little Gus's name--unique without being weird. Glad you're feeling good--boobs are more trouble than they're worth, especially when one's randomly leaking like a faucet.

Staci said...

you seem to be doing great! Don't worry about the boobing thing your kids all turned out normal...well sorta haha jk. I pumped for 3 months and I really enjoyed it..much faster and convient way of feeding my baby, cheap and healthy, but when it comes to your state and not wanting to have baby blues if the boobing thing has to go ..then i say no booobing!

andi said...

Amen, amen, amen! To all the things about boobing and PPD- I second all of it! I am so glad you are feeling good and aren't stressed (more than you should be with a new baby, anyway).

I love that Penny is watching your every move...this should get interesting...

Happy new mommyhood! xoxo

Amanda said...

So glad all is going so well...I mean considering you have a 16 month old and a newborn that alone would kill me. I would need medication...I am glad u don't! And you know how I love nursing but I could not nurse a newborn right now with L being 16 months also. he would not let me...there is NO FREAKING WAY! So I say do not feel bad at all:)

Candace said...

I don't blame you a bit about the whole boobing thing. I've done it with both kids and I've had stress issues on lots of milk at times and not so much milk at other times. It is a stressful thing, so I can completely feel you on the "it's just not worth it".... especially with four others kiddies running around needing and wanting you! :)

And Isaak with the pad.. that's the funniest thing I've ever seen! Such personality! :)

Froggylady said...

So glad you aren't depressed! That is awesome, and way cool that you figured out what caused it for you.

Just clean the crisco out of Penny's ear with his "nursing pad", that's a win-win. He comes with his own cleaning pad!

Unknown said...

yeah! you answered the one thing i was wondering...the name! i hear ya with running out of boy names. :) jack brought home a book from school last week on Auguste Rodin, the sculptor of The Thinker & I thought of your little Gus. :) And I have to tell you I agree with your nursing contributing to PPD...i'm pretty positive mine was the same. i'm so glad you are doing good in that regard. penny's booby pad is precious. lol

Jill said...

Soooo glad to hear you are feeling good! That's awesome!

Lindsay said...

i'm glad to hear you are doing better... mother told me how groggy you were during her visit and how she thought you looked sad. Yay for not boobing. I'll give it ONE more go for the second child but then i'm done if it doesn't work out. i have to tell you i'm using that program and LOVING it!!!! stupid sickness this week is slowing me down but i'm gonna do better at the end of this week. I love you and you should be getting something lovely in the mail from Marian via Me by the end of the week :)

dena said...

at least you're changing your pads and not letting them mildew like a homeless man...not that anyone would do that...

and, i have to say, i like your idea better than mine (the nap) in response to the taebo. how do they get swiss cake rolls to be SO yummy?

Crystal Renee said...

I don't blame you on the boobing thing. Uhh, no thanks. Ha. Glad that you are feeling better. I think Penny's boob pad is the cutest, he's so attentive to what you are doing. And even though I said it before, you look AMAZING! I don't see the pounds.

Have a good day ;)

***** said...

Okay, you just told me so much information and I think you said boobing 17 times. I am jealous you know the root of your baby frustrations and happy to see you take control without regrets.
Penny is such a smarty pants. The milk pad in his shirt makes me smile.

Kris said...

I love that picture of Izzy with the little pad. I love it when you catch them copying things that you do and never realized they were watching.It makes you think they're the smartest little people ever. Plus he makes the cutest faces. I'm glad you're not depressed and things sound like they're going well. You're ahead of us, but we'll be in a similar situation as Harrison adjusts to life with a baby around. Thanks for sharing!

Unknown said...

Love the picture of Isaak. He's a cutie.

Carolina said...

I'm glad you're doing great and drug free!!

Love the name august..not that you cared..hahaha!

Miss you friend!

Jess said...

Can't believe Izey is noticing that stuff. What a cute picture!

Your posts make me feel like you're still around. I wish you were :)

Chernobyl said...

I had my thyroid removed after I had my #3 girl. I had always had insecurities about making enough milk because I never ate or drank enough while bf. So I tried bf with #4 as usual - most of the problem was Sophie. She was the laziest nurser EVER and she never could latch on correctly. So my supply suffered and the more trouble i had, the more depressed I became. The nurse was dropping hints about anti-depressants before I ever even left the hospital. So whether it's the boob or the baby - I think the pressure we put on our bodies to perform, and the occasional resulting failure, at a time when hormones are precariously unstable at best, often triggers depression and feelings of utter failure that we just can't cope with rationally. The fact that you decided to skip the whole wretched event was probably a good much as I love the concept of bf, the actual practice has been, in my opinion, one of the biggest jokes Mr. Upstairs has ever played on me. Aside from letting me get married at 19.
I am glad that you get to skip out on the PPD. Lucky.

David and Teresa said...

I loved that whole blog. I loved the "breast pads" on that sweet Izey and I especially love that there is no PPD anymore. You made your mutha worry about you. I love you and don't want you to have that. It's now gone so woo hoo!!!! second kiss was from a boy named Gus. Yes, Gus Peck. SOunds like my Izey is still up to his tricks...crisco in the ear. I love that baby.
PS I saw that pic of Amber and her Marine when she commented on your facebook. Cute Cute cute.
Sorry I didn't get to see her while there. Oh and Baby 23 lbs...that is GREAT!! You will be running soon. Love you so much.

Camilla said...

That Penny is adorable. I love that picture, can I squeeze him?

Congrats on the weightloss. Are you doing anything different about your eating?

Goodnight moon said...

I can't wait for Izey to start using a tampon....I wonder what he will do with that? Maybe stick it up his nose? or lick it like a lollipop?