Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Roadkill Contest WINNERS!!!

The long awaited day has finally arrived!!
WARNING: This blog post is not for the faint of heart. If you have a weak stomach, uncontrollable bowel symptoms, easy gag reflex or if you have just eaten ANYTHING (including gum or swallowed saliva) I would NOT scroll through this post. If you are pregnant or nursing, please consult your doctor before reading or looking at these pictures. The blog author does NOT accept responsibility for what may happen if you choose to look at this post.
(I'm an attorney's wife so I gotta cover all my bases ya know)
Alright.
LET'S GET STARTED!!!!!
WOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!
First of all, I want to THANK all my blog stalkers who came out of the wood works recently to share with me their roadkill experiences or to give a shout out just for the heck of loving roadkill. (Katie, Abbie, Melissa, Debbie, Lisa, and Photina!) I love that! You guys are what makes my blog ROCK. I received a pretty solid handful of great entries and although difficult, I DID make a decision on a winner.
Because of the greatness of many pictures, I have decided to give out 4 awards which I will soon announce...but first, let's take a gander (because I DO have a dead turkey) at some of the entries that didn't win...but were still freakin awesome to look at!
This little beauty was sent in by a fairly new stalker, Jessica C. Amazingly she found this nasty rock solid possum in her front yard!! How lucky is that?! To just be able to walk up and stare without being embarrassed of cars passing you by. I love how the stomach is busted and enlarged but my favorite part? The stiff tail...classic. Jessica C. tempted me to make her the winner by dangling "I'll memorialize your shirt by using it to line the inside of a homemade bag" in front of my face...tempting...SO tempting. I'd sure love to see my shirt as a bag liner but I had to be true to my entries...only the best will win.
Next is what I like to call, "Sleeping Bambie". Now THIS is the kind of dead animal that makes you think it's tricking until you get close enough to poke and prod and it scrambles up to take you out. I think this is the baby to my big momma I found on Western. This was also sent in by Jessica C. and posted on her blog as well. It's a little too peaceful for me, but...it is dead.

Next we have an entry by another fairly new stalker, Krystal K. This is typical Texas roadkill for ya...too lazy to just kick it to the side...let's just paint right over it.

If we stay for a a bit in Texas, we'll find this yummy crusted bunny sent in by my very own DAD. Love you Dad! My favorite part about this one is that the head is completely skull-less and looks like a freakin Halloween mask, how did that happen?! It looks like a Davey Crockett hat or something. My second favorite thing about this one is that my Mom is a freak about bunnies. Austin used to shoot the bunnies in their backyard and she would FLIP out even though there were a kaJILLION of the freakin terds running around. This just goes to show that even without a SIL that kills bunnies...they still DIE.

Now I'd like to begin the award ceremony. If you could all find your seat and quiet down....
let's begin.
My first award goes to Lindsey A. who sent in this lovely pigeon (we think). She found this pigeon whole walking through the streets of Italy...that's right folks...he's foreign AND feathered. I love that she almost stepped into these slippery guts but instead...whipped out her handy camera to snap a shot and enter it in the contest!!
I'd like to present Lindsey A. with...
"THE JUICIEST AWARD"
This is by far the most shiny, wet and gooey picture I received. Look at that fresh meat...almost like sushi folks... This seriously JUST happened. Who knows, maybe Lindsey A. killed it herself.
The Prize for...
"THE JUICIEST AWARD"
is...
getting to find out my JUICIEST secret which I'll email you! Now you have to promise that you'll keep it my JUICIEST secret and not exploit it all over my blog. I trust that you'll keep it safely tucked away in your head, only to think about occasionally and smile to yourself :)
Congratulations Lindsey A!

The second award I'd like to present is to Paige S who sent in this lovely horse (or cow?) head she found while walking through the streets of Brazil ON HER MISSION. Yes, you heard right! If you'll look closely you'll see her sweet missionary tag on her shirt. Have you ever seen a missionary stop to pose with some dead meat? Not I friends...not I. SO here we have another foreign death. My favorite part about this is the blood stains on the road and the eyeball which remains in the skull. It makes me wonder if Paige's hubby is secretly the freakin godfather. YIKES. Better not mess with her.
I'm presenting Paige S. and her horse head with...
"THE MOST UNIQUE AWARD"
I can't say that I've ever seen a horse head on the side of the road and if YOU can say that, then well...that's freaky.

The prize for
"THE MOST UNIQUE AWARD"
is this lovely horse's REAR trophy. Because what good is a horse head without the rear, right?
Paige, please email me with your mailing address and your trophy will be on it's sweet way to your home. I know you can't wait!
Congratulations Paige!!

Next I'd like to present more of an honorary award to my pal Bonnie.
I like to call this...
"THE HONORARY PERSEVERANCE AWARD"
You wanna know WHY I'm giving Bonnie the perseverance award? Let me tell you why. Bonnie had her ENTIRE TOWN in on the roadkill contest to help her win. If they saw roadkill, they'd either snap a shot FOR her, or tell her where to go see it. They were all rooting for her success. Unfortunately, she didn't send in THE BEST...but she DID send in some really freakin awesome roadkill. I gotta love a girl who strives for perfection in her competitiveness.
Let's take a look at what Bonnie produced for the contest...
This was her first entry...obviously she was a rookie at this point.
One solid slice of the belly, no guts, no gore...just death.

She certainly beefed up the competition though when she sent me number two. I contemplated this being the winner at one time because the maggots and the guts coming out of the mouth are almost too good. It's also very fresh and I love the blood stains on the concrete which show how it wallowed around in it's death for a bit before passing on (gosh I'm disgusting).

Once I told her about the horse head, she went nuts trying to find something more unique than that. This cat was another contender for first because...
1. It's a cat. I hate cats.
2. The perfect hole in the chest revealing the ribcage.
She certainly went above and beyond with this one.

After that, I received this deer from Bonnie but unfortunately, she showed up a TAD too late on this one. I'm not a fan of crusty dusty death...no way. This one is almost earth it's so old.

Yesterday she threw me this shot of another deer (that looks like a kangaroo which would have been GREAT AWJ!!) When I saw this, I fell in love.


I like how she got a close shot as well to show the individual organs from the deer. This was also a contender for first place. The only thing that outweighed my decision was uniqueness. Deer are EVERYWHERE. Good try on this one Bonnie. I wish I could have seen you getting this picture.

And then finally, just a MERE hour before posting my winners, I got THIS in my inbox from Bonnie. Obviously she's pulling for strings here. She wants to win so badly she's doing anything and everything she can. A dead turkey is quite unique, but not enough guts and gore and frankly...dead birds make me nervous.

Oh dear...another angle. The sprawled leg is good, I like that.

The prize for
"THE HONORARY PERSEVERANCE AWARD"
...is this beautiful toilet bowl trophy. This trophy symbolizes two things. The first being how sometimes you have to keep trying if you wanna WIN - meaning, I'm always trying to win on the toilet. And secondly, Bonnie...I have declared you as officially DISGUSTING. I love it. I think it's hot, you're awesome. Please email me with your mailing address and this trophy will be on it's way to your door!
Congratulations Bonnie!!!

And NOW...
DRUMROLL
This takes us to the final and
"OVERALL WINNER"
of the roadkill contest.
Katie K. who sent in THIS dead wild HOG which she stumbled upon as she began her afternoon run. Being so smitten (I really think she was...I would have been) at the sight of this hog, she ran home to grab her camera and take pictures before someone came to steal her prize off the sidewalk. Yes friends, this is a sidewalk.
There are many MANY things I LOVE about this picture that make it the overall winner.
1. As soon as I saw it, I wished I were there. Period.
2. It's fresh.
3. It's gory and bloody.
4. It's unique...WAY unique.
5. It's a pig and I'm totally into those.
6. It's detailed and interesting. You can't tell me you're not blowing these pictures up and studying them.
7. It's IN TEXAS...Yea baby.

Look at that broken arm, it was obviously hit from the rear and broke all legs like Katie describes in her email to me.

I have no clue why this picture is upside down, I'm so sorry that blogger kept loading it that way. Are those freakin fangs in his mouth? And that eyeball...just hanging there. Kudos to Katie for taking all these shots. WOW.

And for you, Miss Katie K.
"THE OVERALL WINNER"
of the roadkill contest,
I present you with my most coveted piece of garment (well, kinda).
THE FLOWERDY SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!

I do hope you memorialize this shirt in a way that will make me proud. Ignore the little balls all over it, the sweat stained pits, the faded colors...LOVE this shirt as you would your first born. Please keep it sacred and do what you will with it to remember the time you won The Lowe Family News' roadkill contest. Email me with your mailing address (which is in Texas and that makes me feel better about my shirt being safe) and I'll send it to you as soon as I finish hugging it and sleeping with it and taking more pictures in it. It will be a sad farewell, that's for sure.
Congratulations Katie K.
and to everyone else who participated...
I THANK YOU!

22 comments:

Jessica said...

These are amazing!!! I loved being a part of this...maybe this should be an annual event. I'll keep my eyes open.

The Willis Family said...

Congrats to all the winners!!!! I personally HATED this contest. It is soooo nasty! I read the post, and very very very quickly had to scroll past the pics. I must say that, the HOG is GROSS!!!!! Even the deer that Bonnie sent in with its guts all over, was really really GROSS! But I couldn't even bare to look at the dead pigeon (again that is...)it is so fresh, it makes me really want to vomit!!!!

The Mama said...

Here I was thinking, um, this won't be bad, Jessica seriously be serious with this. I was eating some jelly peach rings here at work. And yea, it almost came up! Wow. The pig was enough to send me over. WOW! Congrats to all the winners. Love that horse REAR and toilet Trophy!

Laura said...

I'm pretty sure I coulda won with a picture of myself in the morning pre-shower. Dangit--I could really use that horse a&! statue.

Staci said...

hahah Jessica C. you entered? Jessica C is my cousin aka Summers cousin but you probably already knew that Jess Lowe! This was the funniest greatest post. I actually thought I would get more grossed out but all this reminded me of my childhood home in Missouri. Man if I only knew to get pics when I lived there. Baby cafe heads and after birth in our front yard, dead bloody moles on moms bed, oh so many more. Oh well thanks jess I enjoyed this!

Candace said...

Wow.. these people really put some effort into their pictures! I enjoyed looking at the blood, guts, and gore.... I'm wondering where you got those cool trophies??

And I love the flowerdy shirt... I hope she doesn't cut it up into rags...

Valinda said...

EEEWWW Gross! - Fred...Why is there dead animals on her blog? - Jr. I wouldn't let George see ur blog and the other girls warned her the baby isn't on here today! Way to go with the uber grossness, you certainly succeeded.

Tara and family said...

Holy Horse, that was crazy! I had no idea you could find pictures like that in just a week. I must be such a sheltered city girl, I have never come across anything I remember, other than cats, squirls, dogs, skunks, you know, regular stuff on the country road between valley cities. Way cool contest! See ya soon!

KATIEhotdogKINGdom said...

OHHH MYYY GOSHHHH!!! THIS MAKES MY WEEK!!! I just looked at all these pictures in my schools library and got weird looks! HAHAHA!! I love the shirt, i will treasure it forever! No it will NOT be cut up into rags!

Katie

Deanna said...

That's disgusting!

Sara said...

this was just too funny...I thought of you as I drove to and from Florida last week, but it was kind of hard to come to a complete stop doing about 90 down the highway..lol
Glad you had a great turn out!!!
Congratulations to your winners!!!!

Bonnie said...

UGH! I had this long comment that disappeared into blog-space and it makes me mad. I will try to remember all the witty comments...

The hog was definitely gross... it's crazy how all the insides came out his rear! That's awesome!!! I may not have won, but at the very least I have a toilet bowl to document all my hard work. Now I need to find a way to get all my townfolk to quit acosting me in the grocery store with tales of fresh roadkill on the outskirts of town. Cooper's teacher stopped me after school to tell me how he was telling stories in class about how his mom was taking pictures of dead animals to win a contest. I made sure to give you credit for that. I'm not really sure it was worth the reputation I have now, but it was fun.

dena said...

When you announced this contest I was pretty sure this would go on forever because how many pieces of roadkill does the normal person come by in a short amount of time?

So, I was wrong. Who knew so many pieces of nastiness were strewn willy nilly over the globe?

Somehow I'm happy I'm in the wrong neighborhood to be finding dead pigs. Yet another reason to not exercise. :)

Lindsay said...

chills, sister....chills. and i loved every ONE of them... i do think katie rightfully deserved the flowerdy shirt.. i mean honestly.. a PIG!?!?! it's perfect.. it made me a little nauseous... so that makes it the best. nice job.

Tara and family said...

K, I just got my prize from the baby quiz about 5 mins ago. The funny thing is, I LOVE THEM! So stupid, i know. But I'm an artist so I appreciate art, and do you have any idea how much the kids are going to like the other "thing" when we go camping!?! They are going to fight over it, but I won't buy any more, it's special cause I only have ONE and it's from winning a Lowe quiz. :) Thanks for spending the money to send your junk when I'm going to see you in a week!

Carolina said...

I DID throw up in my mouth!!!
I feel shaky and queezy and don't get all these people that LOVE to see this...but I LOVE that they LOVE to...it's wierd!

Congrats to the winner...I did see the winning pics...and I'm scarred for life!!!

I can't wait to get home and see my prize :)

Lindsay said...

okay i changed my mind... my new favorite is the cat who got painted into the road....bravo...bravo. i wonder if you moved the cat would his body outline partially be there? i think it would have to be. ah kitty.

The Nugen's said...

I love it! I showed all my work pals and most of them were completely grossed out!! I think my favorite, even though it wasn't the grossest, was the one that they painted the yellow line right over!!! Too funny!

Amy Herfurth said...

Wow, I had no idea this contest would be this popular!

Paige said...

SWEEEEET! I'm so glad you're giving out more than one award. Personally, I like my horses behind better than the shirt (sorry, but the truth hurts). That's awesome you got so many entries. Who are these crazy people photographing roadkill? And why is Bonnie so insane? hehehe.... Thanks for the fun!

Froggylady said...

All I have to say is that Bonnie has some true dedication!

Some of those are just gross and I can't imagine getting out of the car and having to smell them to get the picture. I'm just glad my roadkill came to me. :)

Froggylady said...
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