Warning: This post will be nothing but lots of typing with NO visuals or fun stuff. I'm documenting this for my own records, you may choose to skip this post and I wouldn't be offended one bit if you did.
Lately my Jakob has been showing signs of childhood depression. I've been sensing this for a few weeks now and when I brought it up to Austin yesterday, he too agreed that he'd been noticing it as well.
I need to start out by explaining to you what Jakob is like. In all honestly, he is a NEAR perfect child, seriously. I know it's hard for you to believe that coming from his MOTHER of all people, but he really is.
He has so many good qualities, qualities that I only WISH came naturally to me instead of trying to work at them each day. He's kind to EVERYONE (except for the occasional sibling spat), he's SO loyal...he will NEVER let you down. He's charming, handsome, spiritual - so smart when it comes to the gospel his church teacher told him he's not allowed to answer anymore questions in class because she wants the other kids to try to learn, extremely well-mannered, thoughtful - oh how thoughtful this sweet boy is. It kills him to see others hurt or be sad. He's intelligent beyond his years (seriously he's like in his upper 30's), he's goal oriented and has his 30 year plan already mapped out in his little head.
This kid is amazing.
How he spawned from my genes, I'll never know.
When he was younger we used to joke that he was the future prophet.
Seeing the direction his heart leads, I don't doubt it.
Ughh...I'm crying already.
What one wouldn't give to have a son like Jakob.
Given all these great qualities, there is a downfall. Because these qualities make him rare, his peers see him as just that...rare. Now don't get me wrong, Jake has friends, he's a GREAT friend. He's the best friend you could ever find, but he tends to get a long better with older children and adults so he's never had a TON of friends. Especially now that he's getting older, I think his peers are beginning to see that he's not like them. He doesn't act up, or get rowdy. He doesn't play jokes on other classmates, or make fun of people. He doesn't do things that most kids his age do. So in turn, he's left out.
The past few weeks I have noticed Jake withdrawing himself from friends in the neighborhood. I don't necessarily mind it because they seem to make him the butt of all their jokes. I've noticed him enveloping himself in books and clinging to me and Austin more instead of playing outside. I've noticed his sleep patterns changing with him having trouble falling asleep at night. I've noticed him acting more BLAH about activities or going places. I feel like he's definitely starting to notice that he has few friends and it's bothering him. I also TRULY believe that Jakob's school teacher is a witch and she shows no love whatsoever to her children and I feel like Jakob senses this. He's always had wonderful teachers, some easy, some hard...but they ALL loved their children. You can always tell when a teacher loves her class. This lady DOES NOT.
The sad part is, any normal kid would show hatred towards everyone else for treating them the way his "friends" treat him. Instead, Jake shows love. Sunday night he printed up a bunch of cards to pass out at school. He said he wanted to be a missionary. They read...
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
The corner of Bryn Mar and Western
Sunday at 1:00
How is it possible that I have this kid?
His birthday is coming up on the 16th of May and he'll be 9. He wanted to have an Indiana Jones party but didn't know who to invite. Then he decided on a sleepover with his closest "friend" Anthony until Anthony recently joined in on the neighborhood ganging up on Jake fiasco. I wanna scream at how mean kids are. They're hateful and they're sooo hurtful to these little hearts that don't have a CLUE what they're doing wrong.
I didn't want to bring up the birthday thing again to him because I knew it was upsetting him. I decided yesterday (thanks to some ideas from Amber) that on his birthday we would just do a family party. Forget friends...they suck anyway. I told Austin we should take Jake to one of his favorite places, an aquarium, spend the day there, eat lunch together, come home to balloons and cake and then open presents...just US. Just our family.
We pitched the idea to Jake and he seemed to be okay with it. He wasn't jumping up and down of course, but he also wasn't whining...because he wouldn't. Even if he hated the idea, he'd do it and smile. I told Austin we could give Miah and Kora $15-20 bucks each and let them each pick a present for Jake as well as us get him something so he has presents to open too. Because he IS a kid. Luckily yesterday a fun package arrived in the mail from some of our best friends in Texas addressed to Jake. It was a birthday present and it seriously made his DAY. Thank you Burns Family! I sure wish Jake had friends like that here.
Anywho. If things don't seem to perk up in Jake's world, I'm considering taking him to the doctor for this. I don't need my 9 year old feeling like crapola.
I love you my Jake. You're perfect. You really are. Kids can be cruel but just hang in there and keep being the sweet little spirit you are and things will turn around for you. I just know it! Big plans are in store for you Bubba...BIG plans. I see it already!