Monday, February 16, 2009

Weekly Wanna-Be

NO WAY!! Is it true? Are you for real?
YES!
The weekly wanna-be is HERE.
This week I'm focusing on a major superstar in the public eye.
Jessica Simpson
To be honest with you, I didn't know about all the drama with her weight as I was preparing for this filming. I don't have a TV, therefore I was oblivious to the jokes made in her direction. This last Wednesday I noticed a magazine at Ashlea's house with her on the cover and about passed out. Holy heck woman, them are some hideous jeans you got on! Then all of a sudden I realized that I was about to bash this poor woman and her crazy singing antics while the rest of the world is bashing her weigh...poor thing. I contemplated switching gears. One poor soul can only endure so much hate, right? But then, I saw her on GMA (online of course) just recently defending her weight in a pencil skirt lookin SMOKIN once again. So hopefully, that one picture at the chili cookoff is just a bad angle...in a bad outfit...with bad rolls...
Anyway.
I have always thought this girl is HILARIOUS when she sings. She gets SO into it and starts convulsing and shaking her hand in air. Her lips get all funky and stretched and then puffy and platypus like. And tell me this...is it just me or does her voice seriously change drastically in the middle of songs? I mean, I think she's a good singer when she has a normal voice but sometimes it goes from normal to like OPERA and then to baby voice...right? You know what I'm talkin about? NUTSO crazy. She also loves to carress herself and her hair and her face and show her muscles as she flexes her arms. She really loves performing, doesn't she? I can't blame her. I had fun doing this one. I felt like I was on stage and like everyone was watching me and I had lights all over me. I see why she does it. It IS fun.
No but for real...she needs to chill out. Or maybe not and just keep entertaining us. You think I'm exaggerating in this video? Then go check out her youtube live performances...it'll rock your world!

ps...I wanted to use my cool new American Idol microphone I got from Laura but I have 4 kids that like to steal my things and run off with them and then lose them when I want to play with them. Terds.

26 comments:

***** said...

It was great.
It was much better than Cats.
I would watch it again and again.
MA and S's E

***** said...

No really... Well done. You are the Master at Jessica's. S's E
What do you say you do Jessica Alba next week? MA

Kathy said...

As a Jessica Simpson fan, I will say you nailed it! Sometimes, I can't even watch her actually perform. It is too much! I guess whatever gets your groove going right?

nat said...

i love this one

Dana said...

Holy cow.. you did it perfect....loved it.

Valinda said...

I should get my kids to watch you then maybe they would land somewhere between the statues they tend to be when singing and your fabulous portrayal of that other Jessica...

Rebecca said...

I loved your Jessica Simpson performance!! You're so good at your weekly wanna-be's!!!

Sara said...

That was hilarious...thanks for the laugh!!!

Candace said...

Hilarious!

David and Teresa said...

Ok that was good but you talk about me only knowing a few words of the songs I sing. I think you knew only about half of them. Maybe less. Way to go Jessica S. Love Dad
P.S. We miss you!!!!!!!!!

Marian said...

What fun, loads of energy. Loved it.

raschel said...

um. i can't STAND watching her sing and almost couldnt make it to the end but the end was the BEST part. haha!! you described her perfectly! the 'platypus lips' and the baby voice, rubbing herself when she sings, EVERYTHING. good one!! :)

dena said...

Diggin' the green scarf. And, I'm with raschel, the end was great....i'm pretty sure you morphed into celine dion and then drunk jessica simpson in the last 30 seconds. better watch out you'll get austin all hot and bothered after the steamy weekend. :)

Aymee said...

Awesome!

Hope you are doing well! I'm glad Austin could come home over the past weekend, what a treat!

raschel said...

hey...where did you get those stick thingies by your fireplace? i want some.

Staci said...

hahahah that was great!...you can really sing pretty good huh? You sounded just like her! I want more singing weekly wanna-bes now!

The Willis Family said...

OMG!!! Okay, were do I even begin?!?! Okay, first off...who knew that you could sing JUST as good as her?!? Second of all...its probably a good thing that you were sitting down recording it, because if you actually had to "preform" her moves....well we all know that THAT GIRL has NO rhythm at ALL!!!! 3rdly....you both do have juicy butts! and 4th, I love how you put your finger in your ear....so GROSS!!!

Froggylady said...

I'm blaming you for not getting all my crap packed while I am childless because I'm sitting here cracking up at J-Lowe Simpson.

Thanks...

Jess said...

You even curled your hair to be just like Jessica Simpson!

Laura said...

I'm sorry--I really needed to see it with an actual fake microphone for it to really work for me. haha. seriously,she annoys be so bad --so good wannabe

Laura said...

I'm sorry--I really needed to see it with an actual fake microphone for it to really work for me. haha. seriously,she annoys be so bad --so good wannabe

Laura said...

I'm sorry--I really needed to see it with an actual fake microphone for it to really work for me. haha. seriously,she annoys be so bad --so good wannabe

Bonnie said...

That was good, Jess. I have to agree with your dad though, I don't think you knew many of the words. You just kinda hummed them and oohed and aahed. It made it more life like. Very funny!

SM said...

TOO FREAKING FUNNY! I love that you're not afraid to do this! It's great!

Carolina said...

I think its funny that no one knew of this "hidden singing voice" you have....but then again how would they?

I FUHREAKING LOVE THIS ONE! I truly believe you're gonna need to start printing them there shirts you showed the internets the other day. You're gonna be a divalicious famous weekly wanna be-er....mark these words!! It will happen!!!

Ellen is gonna ask you to come on her show one day unbeknown to you and that will be the start of your career.

uarefreakinhilarious!

Haley Nelson said...

I am a huge Jessica fan and you look just like her singing that song!!!! I love it!!!!