Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Here's one for the road...

As I continue to work around my house, listening to womanizer, Neil Diamond and Jonas Brothers, folding clothes, sorting items, TRYING to clean and straighten before my crazy movers get here tomorrow and pack rats for me to discover on the other end...I think about my 3 months I've spent here. It's been interesting. Things I love, things I hate, things I'm indifferent about. Tomorrow my internet will be unplugged and you'll have to endure each day without the excitement of my blog for a while until I reconnect in North Carolina. HOPEFULLY not as long as my last bout, but who knows. I wanted to leave a story with you that sums up my experience here in Fredericksburg. It describes the type of people who live here and my crazy interactions with them DAILY. Grab some twizzlers and a cherry coke and enjoy!

SO one evening I put the kids to bed and ended up getting in some sort of argument with my lover over who knows what. I'm sure it was something small, I don't remember at this point but whatever it was it got me steaming mad. I usually do my grocery shopping in the evening so I can be alone and tonight was the night, so as I finished up having the last word with Austin (which I always feel the need to have) I stormed out to the car saying that I'd be back later as the door slammed shut. UGH..I was mad. I was hot and mad and frustrated.

The drive to the grocery store is literally A minute so by the time I got there my madness had no where NEAR subsided. I pull into the parking lot and down a row of slots to park and find the perfect spot for my big Texas truck to back into. I pull past the spot diagonally, put the car in reverse and proceed to do a ghetto get away parking job in this spot. In the corner of my eye, I see this little sedan pull into the parking lot from the other end and it was FLYING. It squealed as it turned in and flew through the lot not even looking to see if cars were around. I thought to myself, "What a freakin idiot...". I continue to look in my mirror to finish my parking job as I'm halfway in and all of a sudden that stupid sedan drives into that empty spot behind me and then UP into MY spot that I'm halfway in. What the crap dude? Can't she see I'm in the middle of parking here? My reverse lights are on, I'm doing this! SO I wait. I stop backing up and just SIT there. I assume she'll realize that I'm in this spot and she'll just back up and be on her way. Uhmm. No. Instead she revs her little crap engine and scoots even CLOSER to my Texas butt. Excuse me?! Are you freakin kidding me? I was livid. This was MY spot. I've already invested several seconds into parking here and I was NOT giving it up. I was pissed and still hot inside from my fight with Austin. I waited there to show her that I wasn't gonna lose this fight but she sat still waiting on ME to move.

I made a quick decision in my head to take this further and then put my truck in park, opened my door and got out. What the CRAP was I doing?! This isn't me!! I'm such a NON confrontational person, what am I DOING?!?! Too late, I was out. I walked into her bright head lights and I can see her head leaning up close to her windshield. Her arms were flailing and she was screaming all sorts of profanity at me. I put my hands up at her and said, "Are you gonna move?" She kept screaming and yelling so I look at her and said, "I'm out of the car, are you gonna freakin move?!" All of a sudden she slams her car in reverse, jerks it back and parks in the spot behind me.

UGH...finally. I walk back to my car, get in, and shut the door. What the crap just happened? What have I gotten myself into?? I knew from the moment that I stepped out of my car I was asking for trouble, but that was MY spot so I was prepared for the consequences. I knew after I finished parking I was gonna have to fight this girl. OH and not only one, there were TWO and they weren't some white girl wanna be's okay? This was true ghetto-ness from Fburg that I was about to take on...TIMES TWO. I knew I was gonna get my butt beat. I looked around the car and had nothing to put my hair back...CRAP. They're gonna pull my hair. I realize I had my new shoes on...Dangit...those are gonna get ruined. I took a deep breath, finished parking and then got out of the car ready for my first REAL fight ever. I was ready...I was gonna take em on. I figured I had watched enough of those extreme fights with Austin and studied as I took Jake to his Jiu Jitsu that I'd be able to at least hurt them but with two I knew I'd lose. Even still, I was gonna go down fighting HARD. That was MY spot.

So I shut the door and walk to the back of the truck to meet the girls. My adrenaline was pumping like CRAZY and even if it was gonna be a hard battle it'd be a good one with the energy and anger I had to burn on their butts. But wait...they're gone? Their car was there and parked, but they were gone! What the crap people?! You just got me all pumped up for NOTHING?! I'm ready to fight someone!! What a let down! So I go inside the store and start preparing myself for an indoor battle. I knew they'd see me and wanna take me down.

I wheeled my cart around the store as I did my shopping and then all of a sudden here they come walking straight towards me. Here we go...this is it. Deep breath. Wait...they aren't even looking at me. They KNOW who I am, I was in their freakin headlights for crying out loud but now they won't even LOOK at me? I'm confused. I thought girls like this LOVED fighting. They walked right by me without even a glance in my direction. SO that was that. They were all big and bad in their little car but as soon as I'm ready to beat some tail...they chicken out. I couldn't believe it. I finished shopping...even passed them a couple more times and nothing.

I went home that night and told Austin about everything. He knew from the moment he saw me something had happened. My cheeks were all flushed and I said to him, "I hate this state." That whole experience couldn't better describe all my experiences here...crazy and weird!!!

I give it beauty...this state is gorgeous, but the people? Not so fun. I think I can live without them! I'll miss driving through the steep hills lined with thick trees, I'll miss the river and staring at it every time I go over the bridge, I'll miss the deer (dead and alive) on the side of the road, but the people...I'll pass on! Virginia...the state for lovers. And here we are!

Love you readers! I'll see you soon, wait up for me!!

14 comments:

Valinda said...

I'll miss you & your funny stories! See you in NC in your fabulous house by the beach!!!!!

Amber said...

Too stinkin funny! See, your harder then you think....they were so scared of you!

I'll miss you for the next 6wks or so, but I'll meet you in Trashville!!!! See you on the other side:)

Laura said...

can't wait till Austin gets the call one night while you're "grocery shopping" to come bail you out of jail. Sometimes Jessica gets mad...and punches a homegirl in the face and pulls out her weave.

Lindsay said...

i'm proud of you... because that's totally something out of the ordinary... it's like us george girls have this button deep down and if you push it too many times in a row...we BLOW and nothing will change our minds... that is... unless there is nothing to get mad at. I'm glad you didn't have to fight them... that would be really ghetto of you. but don't blame the people of virginia... we've had people do the EXACT same thing to us here in utah so... yeah. i'll miss your posts... call me if you want during that time. i'll be lonely.

Janae said...

Isn't North Carolina just like Virginia?

You and Lindsay are going to get arrested for assault and be on the local news. I can feel it.

Good luck with moving, again!

dena said...

i'm laughing hysterically at laura's post. you'll never live down kora's code message. I love it how laura throws it in whenever she can find a good place!

David & Teresa George said...

Hmmmmm....I am the mutha of this one and yes "Sumtime Jessica Is Mad"...Koko you are so right. Love you Baby. Have a safe journey to NC. Laura, you are also hilarious...have you ever thought of starting your own blog? do you already have one?
Mutha

Carolina said...

Will miss your posts! Take care and hurry and get back!!

Marnie said...

You had me laughing out loud as I read your description of mentally preparing for your fight...too funny! Good luck with your move tomorrow. I hope the movers leave the dead mice OUT of your boxes this time!!

Amanda said...

I am going to miss your posts!!!! What will I do???!!!

kimmychan1967 said...

LOL! and here i thought VA had nice ppl. guess you better not move to MD ;). Good luck moving to NC!!

SM said...

I'm just sorry this story didn't end with a butt whoopin'!

Jess said...

This is a great story. It pretty much describes the same fight I was gearing up for because you forgot my birthday. J/K

You say you're not confrontational...yea right! Remember the guy from the Galleria that you almost took on?

Froggylady said...

That is hilarious! And you haven't seen trash yet...just wait girl. :) Hope the move is going well.