Saturday, June 14, 2008

Oh no he didn't! (ghetto voice)

Weirdness today. I went to Outback Steakhouse out of rebellion because my husband thinks that since he suffers through the week eating blah and goo and working hard, he should be rewarded at Outback every weekend. I find this interesting since we aren't rich, and even when he's HOME we don't go to Outback but like twice a YEAR. Whatever.

So I went to Outback because HE was going and I wanted to enjoy it too, even if I had to take Kora and Miah with me. We got yummy cheese fries, coconut shrimp, a dinner salad with ranch and Kora and Miah also shared some macaroni and cheese. It was delicious and frankly, I think I should be I right?

So the service was TERRIBLE. We sat at our terrible for about 10 minutes, SERIOUSLY before someone even greeted us. When we finally ordered, the food came promptly (which it better of because we didn't get anything that needs much work) but then the server girl never came back. She didn't even give us side plates for us to eat off of. Kora was so funny. She was pissed and kept saying, "she is NOT a good server, I guess she doesn't want a tip." I'm sure she's learned this from me, but it was the truth. She never refilled my drink and then when we were done and I wanted to take the leftovers home for my parents and Jake, she took FOREVER.

I'm picky about my service when I go out to eat only because I was a server for a million years, but at OUTBACK...I'm REALLY picky because I worked there and I KNOW their standards of service. I get mad when they don't do what I was FORCED to do and what I trained others to do.

Besides the service, there was other weirdness too. A man (whom I think was mentally retarded, seriously) was there with his wife (who was also mentally handicapped). He kept staring at our table for the longest time and it was so uncomfortable. When our food came and he saw how much we had for just us three, he felt obliged to talk to me about it. Here was the conversation:

Weird Man: "Ya know, I have a 11 year old son who eats everything. He'd probably eat anything you guys don't eat over there."

Me: "Hmmm...okay."

Weird Man: "He's really big, already 5 feet tall and he eats all the time."

Me: "Wow that's tall, I bet he DOES eat a lot."

Weird Man: (As he stands up and walks to the edge of our table) "You mind if I make your kids laugh?" (he whips out his wallet and flashes me a picture of what I ASSUME to be his 11 year old eating son except that the kid is about 3 or 4 years old)

Me: "I guess not." (in a worried voice for the sake of my food)

From this point he proceeds to do what he THINKS is a Donald Duck voice to Kora. She stares at him like he's from the planet Mars and doesn't bat an eye. It's times like these that I enjoy the fact that she's such a snob. He tries to do it with Miah and Miah looks confused at first but then starts laughing and reaching for the Weird Man's hand to shake it. Oh my gosh, no Miah, don't do it. Don't give him the satisfaction. Once he has Miah laughing and smiling he stops. Thankfully...

Weird Man: "Everyone always asks me how I do it and I just don't know. My grand daddy did it, my dad did it and I do it. I guess it's just something we all got handed down to us."

Me: "Yep, I guess so."

I wanted to take a picture of this man SO badly. I had my camera out and aimed it toward him, but it was so obvious what I was doing. I went ahead and took a picture without the flash so I wouldn't draw his attention but it didn't work. I was too chicken to try WITH the flash, but let me describe him...

He had what LOOKED like an umpire shirt on but maybe from the 70's. He had plain white Tennis shoes on and one foot with an ankle sock and the other with a sock up to his knee. His shorts were identical to the softball shorts I used to wear when I was 10. Polyester and WAY too short for a man of his age or ANY man at that. His voice was about as country as you can get and he had a little foam gathering in both corners of his mouth as he would speak. It was freaky. He even tried to get the table next to him to give him their fried mushrooms like he tried to take my food. *shiver*

Needless to say, my Outback experience was ruined due to the psycho man and the horrible server who was too into flirting with all the boys rather than doing her job. My food was good, but that was about it. I don't know that this experience counts as rebellion though, I may have to go again in a few weeks to REALLY get back at Austin!! waa ha ha ha ha WAAA ha ha (evil laugh)


Lindsay said...

what a WEIRDO!!!! I hate it when i get harassed by people like that. It makes me really mad... like what the crap did i do to deserve this weirdness? Also... i thought you weren't supposed to eat shrimp when you are pregnant... isn't that shellfish? I hope issak doesn't punch you.

raschel said...

did he seriously ask you and other tables if he could try food on their table? I wouldn't know what to say...i think i'd think he was joking and try to fake laugh...but WEIRD. Also, you should write a letter to the managers at Outback, since you have some time to kill, if you still have your receipt, make a copy of it and send it w/ your letter so they can get info off of it. One time, I had a horrible experience at a rest. and filled out a response card and the manager sent me gift cards for the price of the entire meal...then it would be more than worth it to give it a try again and hopefully the weirdos won't be there.

Tara said...

I hope you didn't leave a tip, or at least a good one. Ewe, that man just sounds aweful! I would have said something about the service, that chick did not deserve tips for flirting with guys instead of doing her job. I have never been to Outback, only tasted Bill's leftovers, I hope to go someday when we have money. :) Sounds good.

Valinda said...

Weird men are the worst! I'm glad you found something to do today, was Jake home bird sitting? :) Or was he funeral director??? The movie was totally fun I can keep trusting your very wise opinion. Good luck with the rest of next week, hopefully it'll zoom by!

Vagabond Mother said...

That guy sounds hot. Texas hot.

Sandra said...

I don't know who Janae is, but she sounds AWESOME!

Well, all things considered, at least your food was good. Pregnant plus bad food plus crazy guy and bad waitress would have spelled disaster!!

I'm only jealous of you having a new baby, and the fact that Miah is not only 19 months old. There were 3 1/2 years between Piper and Ryder. That was perfect. 19 months - still torture!

Sandra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

I really, really needed to see that picture of his knee sock and ankle sock. I would've used it as my screen saver. Is it mean to take secret pictures of people that you suspect may indeed be mentally challenged? probably. but probably not if they're trying to guilt-trip you into giving up your food and performing for and/or touching your children--all photo-taking etiquette rules are void.

Anonymous said...

This is for Lindsay via your blog. FDA says you can eat shrimp. Check out for info. Just in case certain pregnant people LOVE shrimp. :)

Unknown said...

Weird. I hate Outback. I have had bad experiences there with both food and service! Blech.

I am sorry about the weird dude. I would feel really bad though if he was mentally handicapped and my kids refused to laugh at the poor guy. But it does totally suck when your meal is ruined by someone that makes you intensely uncomfortable.