Saturday, January 19, 2008

I spy with my swollen eye...

Well, here it is. Another white trash moment brought to you by none other than the greatest white trash girl in the world...Jessica.

So as I've been saying, my face is breaking out like I'm freakin 14. Actually, NOT like I'm 14. I never WENT through a bad breakout in my life, EVER. I get the occasional zit here, zit there, but not like this. AND, I have NEVER in my whole entire life (up until now) had a single zit on my back...Ooohh, just saying that makes me cringe. yuck.

Well, ever since this little BABY snuck into my womb, I've been experiencing puberty for the first time ever. My face is uncontrollable, there's a new zit to greet me every morning as I drag my tired face to the mirror. And my back, oh mother...I don't even want to share with you but I feel like I need to so you'll understand. It's horrible. It's worse than my face. It's all over my top back and shoulders and then even leaks into the front on my chest. I'm completely HUMILIATED at the whole thing. I feel like a hideous beast and I want to run and hide in a cave until I feel normal again. I used to look at other people who had bad acne and cringe, but now when I see them, all I feel is extreme sympathy. I wanna run to them and hug them and say, "I know what you're going through, it's SO hard!" I keep thinking that Heavenly Father is teaching me humility and believe me, it's working.

So in order to continue looking human, I started ProActive. I got a sample pack for Christmas from my mom (I know, great present huh..."Here, you look hideous! Try this!") and I began using it religiously just like the instructions said. After about 2-3 days, I start smelling this weird rusted smell following me everywhere I go. I soon realize that it's the stinkin cleanser. I go online to see what others have said about it and find that the majority of people complain about the smell! Yuck, it's disgusting. I'm sure to have it only be on your face wouldn't be so bad, but remember, I'm lathering this junk all over my torso to prevent looking like I have leprosy so I'm seriously a walking stink bomb. Not to mention it's completely drying my skin out. I'm flaking away by the layer using this stuff. I have extremely, no wait....I mean EXTREMELY sensitive skin normally so the longer I use this, the less of me will be left if I continue flaking at this rate. So I quit. I'm done. I go back to using my simple face cleanser for a week or so.

Things still aren't going great and the flakes are gone (the smell is almost gone) but the zits are returning full force so I start to search out other methods. I find this other product called Murad online. I read the reviews and they sound pretty good. I'm willing to try it out to avoid a disastrous, out of control zit face. The product comes in and I read the directions. Sounds easy enough. I don't like the bottles though, they have the word "ACNE" pasted all over them. You'd think that the marketing team would think to put better words on these types of things. Maybe "Clean" "Clear" "Fresh" "New". Trust me, as a newly joined member of the "acne" club, I can honestly say that acne prone clients don't want to read the word "ACNE" on the products they are hopeful will work. I hate the word acne, it's so gross. It makes me think of puss and yuck. SO anyway, I apply the cleanser on and it BURNS LIKE A MOTHER!!! That should have been a red flag for me. Instead, I'm thinking....."oooh, it's working!" Next comes the toning gel. Another round of fire applied to my poor skin. Gosh DANG it hurts. Lastly, the lotion. It feels okay, I think I can do this. I repeat this same process morning and night for two days straight. The second day I cut out the the toning gel because it just hurts too much. I awake the morning of the 3rd day to something I never would have imagined. My face is so swollen I'm almost unrecognizable. I freak out. This was yesterday and I'm thinking, "I have a party tomorrow, what the crap?" My face is so red I look like I laid in the tanning bed for 3 hours. My eyes were almost swollen shut. Have you ever seen children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Do a Google image search, I resembled that. The area around my eyes and nose was so puffy my nose looked flat, there was no bridge. It made my eyes look slanted and close together. Kora crawled into bed with me and gave me this weird look, "you look funny mom, what's wrong?" AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I get ice packs and start layering them on my face, or what's left of it. When I try to splash some water on it, it just burns and my skin feels like sandpaper. It's literally turning into rough elephant skin or something. I had tons to do yesterday and couldn't put it off so I threw on some eye makeup and that was it. I looked like a clown who got a little carried away with the blush. It reminded me of having a terrible beyond normal sunburn. Even my lips were ash grey and swollen. I called the company telling them I wanted a full refund which they agreed to. She said I should seek professional help because it sounds like I had an allergic reaction to the stuff. Hmm....ya think? By the end of the day the swelling goes down a lot, but is still very red and hot to the touch. I go to bed thinking it'll be better tomorrow.

Not exactly. When I woke up this morning it's the same thing all over again. I haven't even used the stuff for over 24 hours and it's STILL burning and hot. My face is still swollen, but my eyes are taking the brunt of it today. The lids are puffy and my dark circles have puffed up like balloons under my eyes. The redness it fading, which is good, but I still need to look decent for the party in 2 hours. Austin gave me a blessing this morning so I'm hoping this will come to an end. If you want a review about the product, I'll say it works. I haven't had a NEW zit since using it, BUT the consequences are a LITTLE extreme to say the least. Don't comment to me asking why I didn't take a picture, are you kidding? I feel embarrassed enough as it is going out into public and interacting with people I DON'T know. I'm not volunteering to show my friends...my goodness.

The plan is this: wait until the swelling and redness go away and I'm back to...well, as normal as I CAN be while I'm pregnant. I'm not trying any other products that were created to fight...ugh, here it is again, that word...ACNE. They are ALL much to harsh for my sensitive skin. I'm open to using a good basic cleanser that was created for SENSITIVE skin if you have suggestions. Before all this crap started, I was using either a bar of soap or my Mary Kay Velocity cleanser which I never had a problem with.

SO that's the story. I swear these things only happen to me. Remember the boil stage of my life and the one I had in my eyebrow? Good gosh, I should be thankful I'm not going through THAT again.

16 comments:

Lindsay said...

BLOODY HELL... who IS this kid? it must be satan's spawn that you are carrying or maybe it's the next prophet... Either way.. you are paying one RIDICULOUS price for it... yes, it's an it until i find out the sex. so there. PHEW... i'm glad i have alWAYS had sympathy for the acne backs... i don't wanna learn THAT lesson the hard way. DANG.

Lindsay said...

i forgot to mention that i'm so SORRY for you. oh, AND i posted something this morning on my art blog. check it out. you'll get a kick outta this.... oh, also.. you tell good stories... my mouth was hanging open during that whole post.

SM said...

1. I agree with Linds: you do tell good stories.

2. I know you told people not to do this, but I kept hoping for a picture.

3. I am sooooo sorry you are dealing with this.

4. I saw commercials for the Clean and Clear line that is like ProActiv, but it's supposed to work much better.

5. Apricot scrub helps breakouts a LOT and it's fine for sensitive skin.

6. Sorry again.

Amanda said...

I am a former acne patient! I had bad acne and took accutane (sp) as a teenager. It cleared me up forever---of course you don't need that and can't take it while you are preggo anyway. Listen to me---Just use Cetaphil on your face to wash it. And complex 15 face lotion (which is hard to find in stores--you can order it on Drugstore.com) Then you have to suffer--SORRY! I tried so many things as a teenager and NONE of them were the miracle for me--except those strong med's! I have never felt anything but symapathy for those with acne. I feel their pain--I can still remember it!

The Lowes said...

thanks amanda, when u say "then u have to suffer" is that because it burns too? or just because i have to wait it out until it goes away. i'm open to trying this stuff you speak of. i think i may look into the apricot scrub too for my body since it's so widespread.

Amanda said...

Jessica--LOL! IT WILL NOT BURN! I was saying that you have to wait it out! But the stuff I mentioned my dermo. told me to use when I was on accutane and I have loved it so much I have used it ever since --so pretty much for 12 years or so now!

Molly said...

i second amanda on cetaphil and my dermatologist also recommends neutrogena fresh foaming cleanser. good luck! sorry, but i was laughing through the hole post!

Dena said...

LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. Not that you have to go through it (hate that part), but, for me, this blog entry ranks right up there with the "I did an hour of abs and then got balls" story.

REST! and stop ordering crazy products online!

The Burns Family of Colorado said...

Alright Jessica, you probably don't remember me, but I have loved reading your blog. I am the oldest of Milley Aalto(was Pierce's) daughters.
I have found real success with Mario Badescu(www.mariobadescu.com) They have some great face product. You can call them to get samples to see if it is what you like, but they have a lot of great stuff. And another plus is a lot of celebreties use it also. Hope this helps.

The Lowes said...

of course i remember you! kriistina? is it? i know there are double vowels in your name, sorry if i put them in the wrong place, forgive me.

i went to the site and it looks interesting. I think i've heard of this stuff, the name is familiar. I like how they have a specific "pregnancy" link. It makes me feel that as odd and NOT normal that I feel...I may very well be NORMAL. ugh.

I also bought the cetaphil and used it last night. it feels so soft like i'm cleaning my face with lotion. for my body i bought some apricot scrub which smells delicious!!

i don't wanna try too many things at once to avoid having another bad "episode" but i appreciate all the suggestions. I'll add them to my list of options when i decide to figure out what my normal regime will soon be.

thanks!!!

Janae said...

I'm commenting! I'm just here to tell you I wrangled the email of the fruitcake from Enos- and hey, this email was put in a CLASSIFIED ad in a newspaper, so spam his guts out!

thehappyrainbow@comcast.net

Sorry Lindsay. I HAD TO DO SOMETHING!

The Lowes said...

thanks janae, i think this guy is in for a lucky future...I'm seeing a free sony television, singles soliciting themselves, a new ipod, etc etc etc......

Janae said...

Yes! Very lucky indeed. He'll be "one happy rainbow."

David & Teresa George said...

Well it is mother. Yes, she is telling the truth. The acne back was bad and sorry to give you the present for your stocking but I thought it would help and Lindsay liked it when she used it. As my Lauren would say "what the crack"

Love you baby. I laughed the whole time I was reading it.
The mutha

Anonymous said...

who is our next prophet?
is it a blk women

Anonymous said...

found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later