Tuesday, September 7, 2010

whats on jessica's phone.

oh dear,
sweet sweet Lover.
you are not here to threaten me
about what i can or cannot put on my blog.
and your swing pictures
were just too good to pass up.
here's a small swinging sequence.
enjoy!
Lover likes to swing on the playground swings.
he swings high
and lowE,
pumping his little leggies
back and forth
in the wind.

but sometimes Lover gets cRaZy.
and swings side to side
making scary faces
because he knows i'm taking pictures.

and then he realizes
that maybe that wasn't the best idea
because his wife is a blogger,
who loves to document whats on her phone.
so he jumps off the swing
to try and erase the pictures.
but he is unsuccessful.
i love you Lover.
especially because you're nerdy like me.

i found this perfect
box-o-terds
at the commissary one day.
i decided they would be perfect
for leaving on someone's doorstep
when they're naughty.
i can think of a few people
who need a box-o-terds right now!


brothers watching tv.
and being special.

mmm.
my yummy grub from the px in q-town.

yes, this picture is in a stall.
and i'm on the other end.
but that isn't what this is about.
this is about isaak's eye
which is obviously swollen.
and on this particular day,
i had taken him to the naval hospital
(note the bracelet)
because it was the SAME eye
that had the random bulls eye mark
which started out swollen,
exactly like it was AGAIN this day.
but,
i was told that there was no difference
between the eyes
when compared.
and that it was NOT swollen.
and i should just go home.
hmm.
just another reason to be happy about my move.


can i just borrow a little girl
to wear this cardigan?
my two loves.
cardigans + peacocks.


i think is why they keep the "cold" slaw
in the cold section.

craaaaaaazy 'ole emma.

real men swim in the ocean
in their cammies.

michele was recently caught
wearing two colors of flippers
at a small party rita threw.
i guess going to school
and gettin a big time degree
doesn't mean
you can match your clothes properly.
see.
i knew school was for nerds.
i miss soggy gussy :(

being able to deposit checks
from my phone
has allowed me to avoid going into banks.
but one day, i needed to get some cash
and apparently, it's the 21st century now.
wtc?
when did this happen?
computer screen tellers?
i felt like i was on the jetsons or something.

one day i had a good hair day.
(one day)
so i sent a picture to some of my friends
to document the lusciousness of my stripper hair.
and i got a reply from bonnie
saying that my eyebrows
were too scary and pointy
and they say,
"i want to eat your baby."
so i sent her a new picture
with less pointy eyebrows.
i really do cater to all.


glad i drink redbull
cuz i don't have that kinda cash.
and i have about
4, 752 hours over the next 7 months
that i need mega energy.

on our trip to q-town before Lover left
i had to take over driving for a bit.
shhh.
don't tell.
Lover likes for people to think
he drives all the way, all the time.

but even Lovers
need to rest their little heads too.

after his power nap,
he was up and ready for hotness.
please note my favorite part of his smiley face.

and as cute as he can be,
do not be fooled.
Lovers can act a fool too.
shooooooot.

limby high chairs.
this is how i felt most of my school years.
tall and limby and awkward.
i almost hugged one of these chairs
because i know
exactly how uncomfortable they feel.

Lover likes sweet potatoes.
he especially likes the skin.
he asked me to take a picture of this potato skin
because it does NOT remind him
of anything inappropriate.
it does NOT have a tiny root
growing from the side of it
that could possibly be mistaken for a wirey hair.
and Lover is NOT laughing uncontrollably
like a school boy
as he holds this skin erect.
it is JUST a sweet potato skin.
that is all.

prettiest. boy. ever.
period.
(yes, he is the front seat
and no, the car is not moving. chill.)

sleeping hawcees on the porch.
courtesy of penny guy.

brothers in a grocery cart.
gettin "ooh's and ahh's" from every passerby.

i like to call this guy,
evil dr. doofenshmirtz.

good news!
the next installment of
"whats on jessica's phone"
will have fabulous pictures
taken by my radical new iphone 4
woot woot!
the end.

28 comments:

Amanda said...

loved it all:) And yes...Penny's eye is swollen...was the doc. on crack????
and Penny and gus are adorable:)

The WholeFamDamily said...

who cannot tell that his eye is swollen? lame-o's.

Oh my gosh, I love candid, true-form, silliness Eggroll pics, unfortunately that only makes him more endearing, as if he needed to be hotter.

I could use a sweet potato right about now.

I need to go find those cardigans! and mismatched flippers are the only way to go.

I want to steal your boys. nuff said.

Erica said...

I love these kinds of posts! My fave part is all the "hawcees" sleeping...brought tears to my eyes it was so cute!!!

Birdie said...

Where was Spouse when I put my shoes on is what I'm wondering! Sweet, sweet Izey and Dr. Doofenschmirtz are just too cute!

Too bad you didn't get a shot of Izey pokin' my boob.

Lindsay said...

my favorite parts of this post...

austin on the swing.

hawcees asleep in a row.

evil dr. doofenschmirtz.

amylouwho said...

i hope you get the hipstamatic prints app so that your kids can think they grew up in the 70s!

and Nick has smiley crinkly eye lines too. Love them.

Charity said...

First I love the candid pics of your "lover". It reminds me exactly what mine does every time I whip out my camera. Although he more like hides from me. Second Izzy's eye is totally swollen!! and Third is about the bank thing. I have been in Canada for a while, but when I first went back home to my bank I was in shock! I hate it. I like to see the people I am giving my money to in person thank you very much!!

ratfacedgirl.com said...

Did you know that this post was just exactly perfect? And I'm all kinds of happy now?
It was. I am.

Oh, and also I'm jonesing for some guac now. But will be settling for a PB&J.

Nina @ Momma Go Round said...

Love love love the evil doctor pictures...awesomely hilarious.

I'm with lover, that skin looks like nothing appropriate, but that's what makes it awesome!

Lucky duck on your new phone!

zoo keeper said...

i want eyebrows that say "i want to eat your baby." and a swing big enough for big....is that to much to ask?
aannndd isaak's eye looks fine to me but i'm blind and reading and typing in braille.

Shaunaaaaaaa said...

for real my sky wears mismatched flip flops..she has said if she is wearing them matching she is in a bad mood...its her thang I guess so really michelle is with it cuz if a 10 year old girl does it its soooooo cool!!!

Candace said...

Aww! My baby made your blog. So sweet.

And the potato skin looked like either a liver or a placenta to me. WHAT were YOU thinking it looked like????

Maranda said...

Bahahahahahaha!!! These are awesome! I especially love the different colored flip flops and the "I want to eat your baby" eyebrows. I can't wait to see the next installment!

Gina said...

Entertaining, funny and a well needed laugh. Thanks for that your a rock star without the drama.

Michelle said...

My husband has the scrunchy eye wrinkles as well, he hates them and tries all sorts of women wrinkle creams to make them disappear which I think is even cuter! I hope Penny's eye is better.

mrs. r said...

our husband could be dear friends. josh always says, "is nothing sacred???" lol. the answer is no! and you proved that as you took photos of your child while you were sitting on the toilet. this is why i love you. i have been known to make a blog post or two while in the same position.

and i love the horsey picture. to die for.

Brandi said...

haha! I remember when Michele had those two flip flops on ... and you came out punching your fist! LOL HAHA!

I miss you! I always enjoy your blog entries like this and then I can't post my own phone pictures, darn you Jessica! : p

Camilla said...

cuteness. LOVE your luscious hair. can i just say your makeup is magnificent too. i'm so uneducated in the make up department, lame. i'm worried about penny's eye. someone needs to go back to med school.

Justine said...

I love your voluminzed hair!

Fun, funny pictures!



Just Better Together

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

My favorite picture is the one of the brothers in the grocery cart! I love Isaak's hat!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Jen said...

OK, that potato skin scared me.

Tractor Mom said...

All I have to say about the sweet potato skin and the box-o-terds...Dirty Jobs and the Gooie Ducs!

Come by after you stop laughing...

E said...

Very cute! Loved all the pics.... except maybe the potato skin lol

THE RAINES FAMILY said...

The hawcees are my favorite part.

LisaDay said...

Great pics. Those eyebrows were kind of scary.

I love the sleeping ponies.

LisaDay

MKarga said...

first of... flat lover... hystarical! I love it!

and 2nd... I hate the stupid bank thing... that thing always makes me sick... the 30/31th and 14th I'm always preparing myself to get sick all over again. lol

Mrs. H said...

You're freakin hilarious. This post inspired me to look back into my own camera phone and post my own fun. You can check it out if you're interested...
http://myhappilyeveraftertheend.blogspot.com/2010/09/camera-phone-gems.html

Anastasia said...

Those are the craziest high chairs ever. Glad you didn't hug them though.

I don't get what's so funny...looks just like a potato skin to me. Nope, don't see anything else, but a potato skin. Dirty.