So I had an OB appointment on Friday which went okay.
Well not really okay at all. Just annoying.
ME: My hands are tingling all the time and they ACHE. Especially at night.
DOCTOR: That's pregnancy induced carpal tunnel. It won't go away until you lose all your water weight and swelling. Get used to it.
ME: My pubic bone is KILLING me. Like some days I can't even get up to walk.
DOCTOR: That's your pubic bone shifting. It won't go away until you have your baby.
Get used to it.
ME: I really wanna have my baby on the 13th, will you induce me that early?
DOCTOR: Uhmm. No. Sorry. No sooner than 39 weeks. Unless you have BlahBlidlyBlah (some crazy disease) or if you have fast labors and you're dilated pretty far when you come in for an exam.
ME: OH OH that's me!!! I have fast labors!!
DOCTOR: Okay, so dilate or find "someone" to dilate you. *wink* *wink*
ME: Hmm...I guess I'll be pregnant till I'm 39 weeks.
DOCTOR: OH one more thing. As if this appointment wasn't as disappointing as it could be. Your Group Beta Strep Test came back Positive.
DOCTOR: (handing me a poster sized neon orange sign) You need to take THIS to the hospital when you go so they will give you meds to protect your baby from your HEE-DEE-OUS disease.
ME: WHAT?!?!? I can't bring this to the hospital!! I mean I know being GBS positive isn't THAT big of a deal but I don't really wanna walk around wearing the scarlet letter so EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG knows I have bacteria growing in my yoo hoo!!!
(okay so it's not really poster sized, but still)
HE has to wear the poster sized neon orange sign.
I'm gonna tie yarn on it and make him wear it on his neck.
Or should I make a new one saying...
"My wife is GBS positive and I still have to sleep next to her at night.
Please give ME antibiotic therapy."