Thursday, August 27, 2009

Robot Leg


Me: (noticing that Miah has blood dripping down his legs from scratching all his bug bites) MIAH! DO NOT SCRATCH your bug bites. That's yucky. You need to leave them alone so they can get better.

Miah: Okay.


Next Day...

Me: (noticing MORE blood dripping from Miah's legs) JEREMIAH LOWE! I told you yesterday, DO NOT scratch those. UGGHH. That's gross. Look at how yucky it is now.

Miah: (innocent nervous voice with puppy dog eyes) Okay.


Next Day...

Me: (after being woken up in the middle of the night from some little person who kept getting out of their bed to go to the bathroom.) MIAH!? Was that you getting out of bed last night?

Miah: (nervously) Yes.

Me: Were you scratching your bug bites?

Miah: (nervously) Yes.

Me: OKAY. THAT. IS. IT. You listen to me Miah. If you keep scratching those bug bites then they're never gonna get better and then germs are going to get inside of them when you aren't looking and they're gonna make an infection. THEN I have to take you to the doctor and they have to try to DIG the infections out. If they can't get them out, they're gonna make you go to the hospital and get your leg cut off and you know what? You're gonna have to get a robot leg after that because you won't have a real leg anymore. Is that what you want?!? Do you want a robot leg? Cause if you want a robot leg for the rest of your life then just keep on scratching them.

Miah: (with HUGE eyes and in a nervous voice) Nooooo!


Next Day...

We go to Target and pass a kid about Miah's age who has a prosthetic leg. I turn around and give a nod to Miah to make sure he sees it.

Miah poops his pants in fear.

18 comments:

Staci said...

hahahh did he really poo his pants? What are the odds you see a lil boy his age w/ a fake leg too. I love doing this to kids..i cant wait to put fear in my children! ;)

Candace said...

Poor little sweet Miah!!!!! You are a MEAN mommy! ;)

The Toland's said...

I LOVE IT!!!!

Valinda said...

rotflol Some day some therapist is going to send you a thank you card, for all the things you do that mess up your poor kids, cause they will be getting rich!

Tara and family said...

cant stop laughing! this was worth the stupid sign in crap I have to go through every time I want to comment. HAHAHA, I love it!!!

The Nugen's said...

That is too funny! Poor Miah!

dena said...

i'm laughing hysterically! i can COMPLETELY see "the nod".

way to teach him that prosthethic limbs are a result of scratching bug bites. :)

dena said...

prostheTic...sorry, gotta get it right.

ernie wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.

Sara said...

that was good! how perfect was that!!

Dana said...

that was great.... i am still laughing

Bonnie said...

That's so wrong, Jess! Poor little man!

Look. Go to this website:

http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=13122&catid=9335

This spray is amazing!!!! You're little Mexican will never have to feel the itch of a mosquito bite again. AND that spray works great on sunburns and small cuts! It feels better instantly! My mom used it on us growing up and it is the only thing that has ever worked. Try it and SAVE that boy from future prosthetics.

tiffanyg said...

I can't stop lauging!!

Mary said...

I'm sorry, but I can not stop laughing!! I can just picture you slowly nodding your head as Miah's eyes get really big.

raschel said...

LOL. That's so funny! I completely played out this story in my head. Poor guy. haha!! You know the spray you spray on your pooty-poo after having a baby also can be applied to sunburns, cuts, bites, etc? And, it WORKS.

Queen Mama said...

Meany! Lol! I probably would have done that as well!!!

Riece said...

LOL! Mean mom! That's too funny!

David and Teresa said...

My poor Miah, He needs his Mawmaw to love him and protect him from the nodding mommy...

Did he really poop his pants?

Hilarious...LOL

Mutha

Chernobyl said...

Oh my freaking hilarious! Classic.