Wednesday, April 15, 2009

White trash moment #284

Wow. It sure has been a long time since you've seen one of these posts huh? Some of you may be new to my white trash moments. If so, feel free to search "white trash moment" on my blog to read about my history with whiskey tango.

So today is part of Spring Break for the kids. I wanted to get out of the house seeing as though we spent yesterday doing nothing but cleaning and fighting and fighting. That was fun.

I decided I was in the mood for Red Robin so we began our trek in that direction. It's connected to the mall (if you can even call it that) so I had planned on spending time in Barnes and Noble with the kids afterwards. They always love playing in there and reading books. It makes for a good time.

When we got to Red Robin we sat down, ordered and ate our food. MMmMmMm, our fooooood. So good. We were near the arcades so the kids were up and down playing on those while Izey and I enjoyed our time chowing down. While finishing up, a VERY young Marine (we're talkin still wearing his high school class ring) was seated in the booth across from us. It was a 2 top and he was alone, eating...alone. You know how that is, you don't really know where to keep your eyes because you don't' have anyone with you to stare at so you kinda just let them linger around.

He made friends with Isaak who kept leaning backwards in his high chair to smile at the Marine who would laugh and smile back at him. The Marine sat there alone for quite some time with no server approaching him. I could tell her was getting annoyed but didn't want to cause a scene. No one does when they eat alone.

When my server came to my table to ask if we needed anything else to finish up, I asked him if he knew who the server was for the Marine. I told him he'd been sitting there for a while with no service. My server whipped around, took his order and apologized. He said he'd find his server right away. When he walked away the Marine thanked me and said, "You didn't have to do that." I know, I just felt sorry for you, I said. Obviously he could hear everything I said to my server although my voice was low and I wasn't trying to make a scene.

When my server came by and dropped off my check I turned to my diaper bag and then it hit me...

My heart dropped into my stomach.
My face turned red.
The kids sensed that something was wrong. Mom? What is it?
My wallet.

I left it by the computer because I ordered something online last night. It's still there. I have NOTHING to pay with. NOTHING.

Oh my gosh I was freaking out. How embarrassing. What was I gonna say?! How was I gonna hide it from the Marine, he'd for sure hear me telling my server. He could be nothing more than a stinking Lance Corporal...he'd feel obliged to help because I helped him and he barely makes enough money to freakin EAT. Oh my gosh...

I called Austin for help. No answer. Stinkin terd.

I called Amber. I needed to have someone on the phone with me to hide me, to cover me because I felt like everyone in the whole restaurant knew I didn't have money. She told me she would give her card number over the phone if they would take it. I wasn't looking for a bail out, I just needed a friend with me to feel less vulnerable.

When the server came back I quietly said, "I need to tell you something." He leaned down and said, "What?" I said, "I forgot my wallet, I left it at home. I have nothing to pay with. Nothing. I don't know what to do! I'm so embarrassed!!!" He went to grab his manager because he too knew not what to do.

When she came to the table I explained it all. How I ordered something online and I left it by my computer. She asked if I had anything to give as collateral while I left to go get it. Uhmm, kids? I got lots of those. Wait! How bout my license? She said, "You have your license?" Ohhh IDIOT, no...why would I offer that, I don't have my license, I'm so dumb...no I have nothing. WAIT, my wedding ring, that's all I have. I'll leave it. I will.

She hesitated. I can't take your ring, I'll feel horrible if something happened to it. She said she would be right back.

I sat there shaking, trying not to make eye contact with the Marine for fear that he'd say something to me. I stayed on the phone with Amber to distract attention from myself. Jake was offering up his $11 he brought. Finally she came back and said, "I went ahead and took care of the entire meal, you owe nothing." WHAT??!! NOO!!! I didn't want you to do that. NOO.
I felt like she thought this was a scam I pulled all the time. Like my kids had been trained to make sad and concerned faces...to play their part...ugh. I felt horrible. SO freakin WHITE TRASH. She told me it wasn't a big deal and that it happens to everyone at least once.
As soon as she left the table I grabbed my stuff and said LETS GO. I was mortified but thankful all at once.

I went straight home, got my wallet.

Headed to the bakery and got a dozen of these.


Wrote a sweet note on the top. With a little bit of Lowe Family advertisement because let's face it, we could all use the extra stalkers!

Swung BACK by Red Robin.
Then dropped off the cakes to her and a $10 tip to the poor server.
Phew...

I felt better. I couldn't let that go unresolved. I didn't want all the servers to know me as the SCAM lady or something.

ANywho, it was a good day, gone crazy. But that's my life. I should be used to it by now, right?
And then there was this hottie...but he has nothing to do with the story. He's just cute because he doesn't know he has a truck stuck to his back.

PS...I think I'm gonna give the roadkill contest ONE MORE WEEK because I've had a TON of good entries and I'm pretty sure I can pick my favorite out of the bunch. If you have something...SEND IT NOW!!! I'm talking to YOU Katie...where is that piece of meat from your run?? And YOU Amy's Wedding Jess...Kangaroo?!?! So Wednesday, around 5pm ET a winner will be announced and my shirt will have a new home. GET ON THE BALL!!!!!

17 comments:

Bonnie said...

I've never forgot my wallet. So apparently it just happens to those that are sincerely white trash.

That being said, I actually got nauseous reading your post, I was so embarrassed for you. That was a horrible story. I think that I would avoid Red Robin. Even if you did take them cupcakes, there will be those people that only witnessed the scam part and were gone before you made amends. You'll probably be blacklisted from Family Eateries throughout J'ville.

The Willis Family said...

Okay, I thought this was really hiliarous!!! (if thats even how you spell it, I'm to lazy to google the correct spelling.)

Your just one of those people who travel around with all your kids to all the resturants and use the same excuse to get FREE meals...Red Robin I'm just kidding! Jessica has NEVER done this before, and she was extremely embarrassed!!!!

I love Izey's little butt butt! Oh, and just so you know, I'm not doing the road kill contest...its gross! I would throw up on the kill before I could ever get a picture of it!

The Willis Family said...

Oh, and have you really had 284 white trash moments?!?! That's kinda scary!!!!!

Amanda said...

WHAT A DAY! I would have died too of embarrassment!
Great idea with the cupcakes and Tip:) Maybe they will stalk you now and you can be more famous:)

Candace said...

OMGosh... I've done this so many times, but thank goodness, everytime I've done it, I've had a family member.. (i.e. my grandma or mom) with me to pick up the tab, but I always feel just as white trash as you just described. I'm so sorry this happened to you today, but great job with the cupcakes and the tip, I'm sure you're more than forgiven!

Oh, and I've been meaning to participate in the contest, but everytime I see something dead and bloody on the road, I'm in traffic and I don't want to total my car with my kids in it. That wouldn't be cool at all...

Carolina said...

your story is great!!! You are soo good at writing things out...BRAVA!!! LOL!!!

I LOVE that you took them cup-ey cakes and tipped the waiter nicely! That is lovely!!

I need to go back and read these white trash moments...I haven't had the privelage! and Red Robin is yummmm, I like their burger with the whole fried egg on it, how's that for white trash??

Kathy said...

If it makes you feel better, I actually went to Red Robin today for a friend's birthday. The waitress never checked on us, and never refilled our drinks. Finally another server took care of us. Then she forgot to put my drink on the bill, noticed, took the bill back and added it. All this after she knew we were upset with our crappy service!

Adam & Brandi said...

Yes, what a day?! That was nice of them and of you. Don't worry about advertisement, it seems that ALL my family, friends and stalkers (who I don't even know) are stalking you too. The reason I know this is because I have a feed jit on my blog and everyone leaves my blog for yours. So who knows how many mysterious blog stalkers you truly have? I don't even know how many I have because NONE, not even ONE, EvEr leave comments. And I have a lot of regulars to that come every day. Oh Well! Maybe I should set it to private and if they want to see it then they would have to e-mail me and tell me how they "know" me, kinda like what you did. Yea, I'll probably never do that. Anyways, hopefully your day got better.

raschel said...

I felt your embarrassment in this blog. Ick. I would HATE to be in that position. I'm so uncomfortable. You handled yourself really well...I wonder if they ate the cupcakes, or if they were worried they were laced w/ something? (I'm too paranoid).

Lindsay said...

Ugh... how TERRIBLE!!! i would have started crying and than hid my tears and then did the same thing you did.. go buy cupcakes or something. i felt anxious through the whole story just HOPING that the poor marine wouldn't hear and help you out.. how even MORE pathetic. way to solve it. that wasn't white trash... more just a mother moment... it happens when you've had fifty million kids.... or so i hear.

Lindsay said...

also... i laughed so hard at izey with that truck on his back that i drooled a little.

Marnie said...

Ok, seriously, how can one person have so many great stories to blog about? You're not making these up are you Miss Jessica. J/K Love hearing about all of your adventures...forgeting my wallet is one of my biggest fears.

Froggylady said...

Thank goodness you are fitting in in J'ville! I have NEVER forgotten anything ever. So that just proves how white trash you are.

Love that truck on Izey's back.

Plus I will win that contest if I have to go chase down something myself.

Camilla said...

I've forgotten my wallet at Target a few times. I love it when I fill up my cart (literally fill 'er up to the brim) with things we need and pull up at the check out, get it ALL loaded on the track, the lady gets it all scanned and then...nothing. Mortifying I tell you. Its so sad to have to walk away from it all. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Janae said...

I think what would have made it better is if the cupcakes were decorated like boobs.

Laura said...

oh the sweating that must have occurred. I've forgotten my wallet but you can easily abandon a shopping cart till later but NEVER have I forgotten it at a restaurant. That's horrid. But at least you got some selfish self promotion and free blog marketing from it...Awesome w.t. moment.

Riece said...

Wow, how perfect that this happens to you! LOL

I love it. How nice what you did for them!