(this wanna-be was inspired by the mutha)
Wait a minute...don't get TOO excited.
This isn't a REAL wanna-be but it's gonna have to work for this week's segment. I've been too busy with sick babies to even think about who's next in line. Well, I take that back. I have spent some good time in front of the bathroom mirror sitting in my sink as I surgify my face and act out friends and people I've come across. So I AM preparing. I'm just not...prepared.
So I have this friend. Let's just call her...ohhh...AMBER. Anyway, she's petrified of Mormons. It never fails that they are always trying to invite her to go caroling, to attend church, have missionaries over or slip a Book of Mormon in her diaper bag. Funny thing about this girl I like to call Amber, she always ends up becoming good friends with these weird Mormons. It's like they're everywhere. NOW, she's my friend...and if you haven't already figured it out...I'm Mormon (LDS as we're "supposed" to call ourselves, but whatever). I've promised her that I won't EVER force my Mormon tactics on her and since doing that it's like she can't get ENOUGH of wanting to be Mormon. OH how the tables have turned.
So she starts being all Mormon-y having a millions kids, not drinking or smoking, wanting to have her own version of FHE, wearing modest clothes, not cussing (at least not in front of me), shoot..I bet she's even sneaking glances of the talks from last general conference online. Anyway, so I tell her that hopefully my ward will feel sorry for me with my sick baby and all and I'll get like a million casseroles so I won't have to cook for weeks. Cuz that's what we Mormons do, right? We make food for each other when we're down. Then I remembered that my ward doesn't even know that I exist sooooo scratch that. Welllllll....guess who shows up at my door this evening with, not a casserole (I don't like those anyway) but with FOOD GALORE?!?
That's right...Amber, the Mormon Wanna-Be.
So here's a message to Sister Willis (we LDS address each other using sister this or brother that) from the Lowe family. It only took us about 50 takes to get this right and it's still pretty lame so for a translation of what they're supposed to be saying, look below.
"Thank You for the casserole Sister Willis!!"
You better watch out Amber. Maybe one day when you least expect it I'll perform a Nacho Libre dunk style baptism on yo butt! Awww YEAAA!
(ps...go to my privates for the latest additions to my house! can't see them and want to? just email me with who you are and how ya found me!)