Wednesday, December 3, 2008

More Junk - but this is good!!

1. This morning I was feeling totally groggy so I had planned to take a nap as soon as Isaak went down for his first nap. When he did I got some cars for Miah to play with in my room and I passed out. Yes I know...I'm a terrible mother. Who cares. So anyway, when I woke up because I hear Isaak crying I opened my eyes to see Miah wearing my high heels and my bra standing in front of the mirror looking at himself and whispering. I was shocked and I ran to get Izey but when I cam back to the room (which is like literally 10 feet away) everything was put away, no bra and no heels and Miah was back on the floor playing with his cars like nothing happened. Wait a minute...what just happened here? Did I dream that? No way, I've been teasing Miah about him wanting boobies and he just keeps laughing and being shy about it. We went to Target and I asked him if I should buy him a bra. Should I be worried about this? I've seen all those talk shows like on Tyra where she's interviewing transgenders (is that what you call them?) and they always say, "I've known since I was 3 yrs old that I was in the wrong body. I would dress up in my mothers clothes when she wasn't looking." AHHHHH!!!!!

2. There's been some confusion about Austin's text. Some have no idea what it is and some have mistaken it for something truly disgusting. Let me clarify. Be warned, it's it's a picture of butt cheeks spread apart with the butthole visible. I know, it's nasty, but that's not NEAR as nasty as what SOME ppl have been thinking it was and I DEFINITELY don't want others to be thinking but not saying the same thing. Oh and yes Raschel, I want that explicit response, do share.

3. Miah has been singin Britney all day but he sings it like this, "Woman Izey Woman Izey". I guess he thinks those are the words.

4. I went to the Jville "mall" today (if you can even call it that) to do some shopping and wasn't surprised to see about 30 ppl wearing the Jville trademark fashion. Wanna know what it is? Okay, I'll tell you. Fake Ugg Boots (or any other snowy weather boot) with their jeans tucked in to the boot. Yes, this is cute for FIVE year olds. It WAS cute for adults about 5 years ago and is ONLY cute for adults STILL if you're in a freakin BLIZZARD or SNOW SKIING, both of which you are NOT experiencing in the mall. You think I'm joking when I say this is a trademark fashion here but I'm not...seriously like every 3rd person is wearing this. No matter what their size or shape. all I have to say.

5. So while shopping I've completed TWO looks for the family picture. Jake and Miah are DONE and I bought a scarf for the mere fact that it contains ALL of the colors I would like in the family picture (except brown but I can remember that one). It's gonna be our "guidance scarf" so we stay matching.

6. So my head grew today. While I was wandering Target I could feel this really young preggo girl following me around and staring. It was getting quite annoying when finally she comes right up to me and asks if Isaak is MY newborn. Excuse me? Did you just ask me if he's MINE? First of all YES...I know he doesn't match my rowdy 3 year old but yes...he's mine. Second of all you're like the ONLY person who has ever referred to Isaak as a "newborn". Oh my gosh, you're right! He IS a newborn. Holy Cow. Most people just look at him and wonder why I have an 18 month old in a car seat and why is he acting like a 5 month old drinking from a bottle, cooing and sucking on his fingers. So I proudly say, YES...he IS my newborn!!! If that right there wasn't enough of a compliment she continues to ask me how I look so good after having him and what did I do to lose weight? Pardon? I turn to look at my butt wondering if it fell off in the parking lot because last time I remembered it was STILL quite ghetto. WoW! My face turned red (as usual) and I begin to instruct(?) her as to her how to lose weight after her baby is born! Am I even allowed to do that? I don't feel at ALL qualified to be helping someone in the weight loss department but at that moment I wanted to HUG this poor girl. She was sincerely listening to my every word as if I was her MOTHER or something. Like she REALLY looked up to me. I felt SO good. I told her what I did as far as exercises and then she thanked me and went on her way. I DID, however, explain to her that she has NOT seen me naked and that clothes DO hide a LOT. She laughed...but I was serious. I walked out of Target feeling about 5 inches thinner but 10 years older. Thank you random young girl.

7. I wasn't really planning on going to the mall today. I had to stop in at Barnes and Noble which is connected to the mall to buy a new calendar. Since I wasn't planning on being in there very long, I carried Isaak in and had Miah trailing behind me. Unfortunately, Barnes and Noble had a ridiculous selection of either baby animals, psalms, or Italy calendars. Since I'm not a zookeeper, I already have a bible and I don't LIVE in Italy nor have ever been there, I didn't partake of those. I decided to venture into the connected mall to find one of those calendar kiosks because Amber persuaded me to do so while I was on the phone with her. Well I didn't find a calendar kiosk, but I found The Children's Place which is where I got the boys' pictures outfits. I spent about an hour in the mall HOLDING Isaak and trying to chase Miah around from escaping while I was picking out clothes. By the time I left the store I was burning up and sweating profusely in my thick knitted sweater holding a whining baby who wants to go to sleep on my chest (in which case he goes from 17.5 lbs to 500 dead weight lbs) and trying to carry a bag of clothes, my phone, my wallet, my keys and ONE finger of Miah's so I wouldn't lose him. As I'm walking out of the mall one of those hair straightener kiosks stops me and asks me if they can do my hair. What the freakin crap? I look around at all the other potential suspects to have their hair done who are NOT carrying a baby or chasing a 3 year old. I think back to this morning as I spent 6 hours CURLING my bouncy curly hair. Is it not obvious that I CURLED my hair this morning ON PURPOSE?! You think I want you to straighten this work I've done? You think I have TIME to sit and let you straighten my hair with an overly heated iron while I'm already sweating profusely from every pore as I try to keep Miah contained and Isaak from crying. Uhm, NO I thanks, maybe next time.

8. The End


Valinda said...

Maybe all that sweating at the mall is what made you look so good at Target :) I got my calendar yesterday, I'm really boring and get the same one very year it has a pocket at the bottom to hold all the invites and notices I tend to loose. I'm glad that little girl made your day that is such a happy thing!

Jess said...

Girl! Don't worry about Miah! That's totally normal! It's curiousity. My brothers dressed like girls until they were 6...and both are completely normal guys guys!

Carolina said...

You OBVIOUSLY haven't ventured into Provo, UT anytime lately. You would think we lived in ASPEN the way these females proudly wear their "BOOTS WITH THE FUR", it is OUT OF CONTROL! What you described is exactly what is going on here...and it needs to be stopped!!
I tell the hair straightner people.."NO!!" and walk away proud. At least you're nice about it :)
I'm done with my comment and I shall leave while singing the words "Woman Izey, Woman Izey, your a Woman Izey..."

Vagabond Mother said...

Ugh, sweaty baby children shopping. I hate that.

I always by my calendars really cheap the first week in January. I usually end up with rainforest frogs. Oh well.

Am I the only one that thinks a butt is grosser?

Anonymous said...

You do look hot! Proof times 2 today....Miah wanting to be you and little pregnant girl.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Janae...when I thought it was something sexual, at least I thought it was something exciting.

Froggylady said...

1. I totally forced my brother to dress up. He's fine. Except for the twitch. :)
2. Wow, you have some readers with dirty dirty minds!
3. Too cute!
4. I freaking hate that look. I was in CA when it became popular and heaven knows that it is NEVER cold enough in southern CA for Eskimo boots.
6. That's awesome!
7. You were so much nicer to kiosk dude than I would have been.

Bonnie said...

Oh my gosh! There is too much. My head hurts and I'm tired. I'll have to catch up tomorrow.

Bonnie said...

ok, so I wasn't as tired as I thought so I read the whole thing. Have to say, I'm a little upset that I wasn't mentioned at all... but I guess that's to be expected. Anyway, so I'm totally freakin' jealous that you look so good. Maybe you just needed me to go away and you could lose all that weight. Hmm. Oh and to be honest with you, I think you have every reason to be concerned about Miah. When they start hiding it... start worrying about it. :-)
Give the kids a big gigantic hug for me!

Unknown said...

my boys all did the dressing up thing too when they were little. maybe he put it away when you woke up because he was embarrased by you asking him if he wanted his own bra?

can't wait to see your christmas pics!

way to go on looking slim ;) your junk looks good too. :D

Lindsay said...

oh miah... this makes me nervous... i wonder what he was whispering? Maybe he was just trying to be britney spears in the video... okay.. that doesn't make me feel better. As for everything else.... DUH. of COURSE people dress stupid in the east, sweaty baby shopping is overwhelming and come on.. you HAVE to know you look good by now... stop mentioning it... fisher for compliments.... (it's the bitter pregnashia in me talking). oh.. and i must have missed austin's "nasty" thing... i'll have to look back. but still... ew. I was all worried you were gonna show a picture...

Lindsay said...

okay... i just got it... nice austin.

Amanda said...

What a great compliment!!!!!! I bet you wanted to kiss that girl:)

#7 is too much! Girl--we are SO DIFFERENT! I don't go anywhere unless it is planned out to the "T" and I have all my equipment plus like 5 days worth of clothes and diapers! LOL!