Sunday, November 30, 2008

Good Idea Raschel...

So I decided I would follow the advice of Raschel and make a pros and cons list about going private. This way not only I would see what I'm debating between, but you too will see my issues and may be able to help me figure out what to do.

PROS in going private

1. First and foremost, SAFETY. As most of you may already know, it is inevitable that Austin will be deployed before this year is up. I would feel very nervous about announcing to the entire blog reading nation about my husband being gone for 7 months while I sit at home ALONE with my four children. Not only this, but very soon he will be gone for his schooling in Rhode Island. Same situation with that. I want to be able to whine on here about missing him if needs be and not worry about some crazy man (or woman) preying on my loneliness.

2. Hmmm...that's really the only pro.

CONS in going private

1. Certain "secret" visitors would not be visiting anymore. So I know I'm pretty much contradicting myself but some of those "secret" visitors are too hush hush to even let me know they are there (even though 'I' know you're there *wink*) and I LIKE them being secretly there (as long as they aren't drawing diagrams of my floor plan and making mental notes about dates and times I'm alone). I don't want to lose those visitors.

2. Logging on issues. Some of my visitors that aren't afraid to say hello, don't say hello because they can't quite figure out the whole google account thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't wanna lose you because it takes too much brain function to figure out how to create an account. I love you my google-retards and I don't wanna close the door to our relationship.

3. Comments. I love em. You know this, I say it all the time. I LOVE COMMENTS!! They make my day, my week, my hour. I seriously sit at the computer all day clicking "refresh", "refresh", "refresh" just waiting for a new comment. No, but really...I do. I worry that going private will limit my comments because people will find visiting me too much of a hassle. Then my self esteem will slowly drop, I may go into a deep depression and quit blogging all together.

4. Unsafe. Back to the pro of going creates a CON for not going private. I don't think I really need to go over this know the problem.

5. Loss of blog hoppers. One of my favorite things about blogs is that you can hop from one to another to another until you find a blog you love and continue to visit it to make you smile and laugh. With a closed blog no hoppers from other blogs will be able to hop to mine which means the amount of visitors I have right now will NEVER grow. I will either stay at this amount or slightly diminish which makes me sad. You have no idea how many people I've met through my blog hoppers and how many friendships have been created because of them. I don't know if I'm willing to lose future fun friends. But then again, if I'm murdered on the side of the road I guess future friends won't matter, right?

So that's that. Any advice? Suggestions? I guess what I really have to say is that I do NOT want to go private. But I fear that not going private and allowing something to happen to my family will forever haunt me. So what can I do to be safe, but also be open? Thank you friends!


Goodnight moon said... as we have talked about before.....I will soon be going private too. I also have the same pro's and con's. Most of my "stalker" visitors won't be able to visit me either, and I, like you,....LOVE my comments and LOVE seeing who is on my page! It's like going to check the mail everyday...I LOVE getting mail...and blog comments are like mail to me!!!!

So, I think that you should go private...once A does leave! So, you can give all your visitors..friendly or not....the chance to set up a google or gmail account so that the next time you write a blog, they will have an account set up and be able to read and log onto your site.

Like I have said...I WILL be going private myself...soon....VERY soon!!!! Just an FYI for all your blog hoppers that come from your page to check mine out;D

Safire said...

I too love love love comments so I thought I'd share some love. :)

You have a good list. I admit that the blog hopping is why I won't go private. Have you ever thought of having 2 blogs? One where you post some of the more private things and pictures and leaving this one open?

Of course, it's a lot of work to keep up 2 blogs. I think there is a pro and a con to every situation. You just got to make the decision that feels the best and stick with it!

Anonymous said...

I'll still comment no matter what you choose, so do what you feel is best!

David and Teresa said...

I guess I may be dumb on this subject so please explain to me how someone could find you just by looking at your blog. You don't list your address or phone number. I don't think they would even know your full name if you took your last name off of your title. I would still be able to access your blog so I really don't care. Also if someone wants access to your blog when your private how can they contact you? Just some thoughts from your Dad.

Amanda said...

I hear ya......I have the same advice though..sorry:(

I do have a request though answer this....I know Austin is an attorney and he is a Marine. What exactly does he do? Is he an attorney for the Marines? I know I am stupid!

Jess said...

I had the same dilemma and still do, 8 months after going private. I'm bummed I don't get nearly as many comments because most people use Google Reader to show them when a blog has been updated, but that doesn't work with private it's up to the reader to REMEMBER you and check in occasionally, which sadly will probably not be as often as you'd like.

Valinda said...

I look at my lame SIL's blogs that never update everyday and I KNOW that you will update and I definitely like you better than I like them so I will continue to look in every day even if you are private.

Obviously I've taken precautions to keep my full identity and that of my kids on my own public blog somewhat hidden but I do get scared there's some perv out there making himself happy while looking at my kid's pictures.

I wish I was as confident as you that I have blog stalkers but my blog stays public for those people in my life who can't figure out how to set up and log-in to an account.

Either way I'll still stalk you, so I better be invited!

Froggylady said...

I believe private is the way to go to keep weirdos out.

There's a feature on blogger where you can email your posts to readers who are "google-retarded" and they can read your blog. I do this for my parents...and it's great. It just pops your post right into their inbox. Pretty as you please.

You can also keep yourself public and just give the kids code names and not disclose your location and hope that you have a lazy stalker that doesn't read old posts.

Anonymous said...

i am a blog hopper.there. i admitted it. i found your blog through a friend of mine. i love your blog and it makes me laugh on a daily basis. i would be sad if you went private..but totally understand!

Heidi said...

I went back and forth forever.....I hate private blogs, they are a pain, but I decided to go private!! Better safe then sorry and I can't imagine some freak-o copying pictures of my cute kids...makes my stomach turn.

Do what makes you happy - Matt deploying was also a big issue for me too!! Love your blog - Loves - Heidi

redheadsmom said...

I am like Heidi. I had a public blog, then I went private, friends convinced me to go public, and now I am going private after the Utah news did a piece on blogs that was pretty scary. A mom put a cute pic of her son with his new mohawk and it ended up on a neo-nazi site with no way the parents could get it off. I would still stalk your blog and I am going private two days before Christmas. Private is a pain, but the best way to be safe.

David and Teresa said...

I am your mother and like your father do not understand how someone will find you and kill you just through your blog. Hmm...

Sandra said...

See - I dunno! I guess my thought is that if anyone wants to find me - they can! It's not hard to find pretty much any information about anyone, so I might as well control my internet presence. But - if you do go private, you'll know who your true friends are!

Carolina said...

Well let me just say that I get SOO FREAKING annoyed when people make their blogs private because occasionally I am one of those "secret" stalkers and I don't want to have to ask for permission to stalk. And I'm with your parents on the whole "how can someone find you" question...If they really want to find you...they can! You can find anyone on the internet. Well..that's my two cents..for whatever its worth :)

Marnie said...

Not sure that I have any advise for you. I will continue to visit and leave comments either way. I would hope that I would get an invitation if you go private... :)

Marian said...

Austin and yourself possess outstanding brains and gobs of common sense; use them -- make the decision TOGETHER.

I'm all in either way. Incidentally, I stopped commenting some time back because I felt you did not need input from an OLD, matronly aunt.

Love and MISS you all,
Aunt Marian

Unknown said...

Personally, I think the risks are exaggerated. You leave your house every day and anyone that wanted to follow you home or take pictures of you could. But at the same time, I do understand the desire for privacy. Either way, I'll visit!

raschel said...

I think you should have a private blog for days you want to vent about your loneliness. And, you could tell your readers to "click here" if you want to read about it, and only the people you know will be allowed in. for a LONG time i was your blog stalker and i KNEW you...i just didn't figure you'd remember me and was afraid to admit it. think about all the people that read your blog now and really don't "know you", but found you by blog hopping and have fallen in love (in a non-creapy way) with you and your cute family. i'm impressed by the people that have admitted to stalking you. i love it! i'd never admit to stalking a random blog...i think you should keep this one open b/c your readers would be sad.

and, ya'll move so dadgum often that i don't think a stalker could find you even if they tried. :)

with that said, if you DO go private, invite me, k?

Paige said...

The truth is that private blogging is definitely not as fun as public blogging. Seeing how much a part of your life blogging has become would convince me to tell you not to go private. I definitely feel safer with my private blog but there are always problems of people getting on, their accounts expiring, etc. It's a pain. If you really still want to have fun, try one of my two solutions:

1. Two blogs (as previously mentioned) even though it's still not the same and a lot of work.

2. Take out all the real names/places/jobs/USMC stuff and use aliases. Just don't put in really personal stuff like, "I'm home alone for the next 7 months!" Instead say, "I hate it when my hubby's gone! Good thing I'm a pro with his hand gun!" Etc.

Good luck!

Vagabond Mother said...

You know me, what, I've gone back and forth like five times???

I just don't care anymore because secretly, and maybe like you, I'd like to make money off my blog. I'd also really like to get more photo clients, etc. I've been bummed since my readership has been down the last week or so.

If we go out of town, I don't mention it until we are back. I keep my last name off for the most part, but a million people "link" by putting your last name down as well.

I have to be honest, when I click on a blog and I haven't signed in and it is private, most of the times, in my laziness, I move on.

And things that are REALLY weird and or private and or whatever maybe shouldn't be on a blog, private or not. Of course I of all people DO NOT KNOW where that line is.

When my blog was private, I still had weird readers. Some of the weirdest people are people you already know.

Vicki said...

Okay, thanks for calling me out on your blog as being a "google retard":) I could not take a chance in losing touch with Miah and the rest of your family.

Froggylady said...

So after reading a few comments I think I want to get on a soapbox and say that the fear isn't so much of somebody finding you, but of somebody having so much information about your family easily and readily available.

Without the blog a stranger may see your kids but not know their names...the blog gives names.

Without the blog a stranger may assume that hubby works odd hours and isn't home...the blog tells that he's gone for days, weeks, months...etc.

I feel that privacy on the internet is extremely important and you can let a lot of things roll off your back. Before I went private I used the first initial of my friends and family to identify them, now that I'm private I'm completely secure in knowing that I can release that information. People can find your blog through google searches and they could be searching some really wacked out stuff and find your blog. That's what creeped me out was seeing what people were googling and finding my site with.

OK, I'm off my soapbox and obviously the decision is yours and of course you will make the best decision for your family.

Camilla said...

You already have tons of posts on this subject but here's what I think. I hate being private too. Its annoying but I after I saw this show on Oprah about internet predators I was convinced that I had to do it to keep my children safe. Internet predators are smarter than we think and public blogs are easy access. If you google yourself (and your kids names) then you'll see what is available on the internet and that can help you decide if you are comfortable with that or not. I googled you and your blog was number five on the first page. That's easy to find. Here's the link to the information Oprah talked about:

Either way, I'll still stalk your blog too. I love getting comments but I do the blog thing more as a way to document life and give me an outlet so I decided not to worry about who commented. Honestly, all the people that were commenting still do. I don't know if I lost readers but then again, I know I'm not as popular as you are (wa, wa) :)

Lindsay said...

Don't go private... i think it's a paranoid behavior. And like so many comments before me... if they really wanted to find you... they'd have better resources to do it than a BLOG. honestly. Don't be a woman about this..."my babies!" you'll be fine.

Laura said...

you do give out alot of personal info so I do think someone could easily find and kill you...but is that likely? no. of course not. which is what i will keep telling myself is the reason why i won't go private anytime soon. just stop writing where you live and make up a rabid pit bull for a pet.

Anonymous said...

Ok.. So I am one of your blog stalkers... I love reading you site. It makes me crack up all the time. I met you when you came and did a princess party for my daughter.(which she still talks about being her best birthday ever) i understand if you go private but you would be miss... I agree that some wierdo at the super t could be more dangerous than someone out in the web...whatever you decide... thanks for the laughs

Dana in Texas

Goodnight moon said...

Okay, so I had to get back on here and read all the comments that people left you....there are alot!

I think that you ARE NOT crazy for having these thoughts at all, but look who is saying that. I am the most paranoid person.

I don't think that your bloggers understand what your trying to say....but being in the military you have to be somewhat private. It is VERY important that you NEVER put any dates and other information on here for people to read. I think that alot of people feel that the world is still safe, but its not! But its not just the war, people are freakin weirdo's!!! I am always so careful what the title that I put on my blogs so that it can't be searched by the google engine, or at least not easily searched.

But its your decision, you can NEVER be too careful when it comes to your family. You are the only one that can make this decision!!! But I really do think that once A leaves, you need to be private! Well, that is if you decide that you want to put his info out there about him being gone?

Look what you stirred up on here! Hahaha!

Amy Herfurth said...

Wow, 27 comments...I think that says it all!!