UGh. I don't know where to begin. You all know I've been tryin to work out lately. I've been bustin my butt sweatin like a pig (honestly I've never seen a pig sweat) in the gym to try and lose these last 15 lbs of flab. They are seriously the hardest to get off and I'm going insane as I look at the scale everyday and it doesn't freakin budge. Yes I'm losin inches but still. I was positive about the whole thing until like...now. I'm starting to wonder if I will EVER be me again. I have that huge pile of super sexy jeans I wanna slip my tiny butt into, only problem is, I can't find that tiny butt I used to have. I know it's buried somewhere under all this chub but why can't I reach it? Why is it taking so long to see SOME progression? I'd a thought I would have lost at LEAST one pound. No. Nada. Nothing. After 3 1/2 weeks not a POUND.
The other problem is, I still THINK and PICTURE myself in my head as the smaller version of me. I saw this lady at the gym runnin on the treadmill and her bootie was flappin in the wind like it was tryin to take off for flight. I wondered if mine looks like that when I run so I turned my butt to the mirror and did a little jog in place action only to find out...YES. I do have a butt that longs to take flight. What the crap? That isn't the me I know. To make matters worse my "friend" Bonnie was laughing her head off at the whole thing. Nice.
So once again I pose the Zoolander question of my LIFE..."Who am I?"
You know those dreams you have (or maybe it's just me) that you're hair is like super gorgeous and luscious and thick and bouncy and always pretty? I've been havin dreams similar to that where my butt is so tight and cute and I wear a bikini and there's no flab hangin over the top of my bottoms and my boobs are perky and full (as opposed to the tube socks with sand in the bottom they are now) and then after I swim in my cute swimmer I change into my hot jeans that simply SLIDE right up over my buns (as opposed to the bouncing and hopping on the bed and the floor and rolling around trying get them over my flab then trying them on with the spanx and then finally buttoning them up only to see the top half of my butt with plumbers crack hangin out the top). I mean really...I'm not a big fan of the rear cleavage. Anyway, those dreams are haunting me because I'm so happy in my sleep only to wake up and see they AREN'T true.
If only I could take some of the chub and fluff from the hips, thighs and buns and transfer it to the sad girls up top. If only.
I know, I know, it will take time to see results. I know all that. I'm just being impatient. I haven't griped about this the entire time, I've been positive and uplifting in my thinking but for some reason I hit my breaking point about 30 minutes ago and I've just had ENOUGH. I want to see some numbers go down. What is it about us girls that have to SEE the scale decrease? Who cares if we've lost 12 inches (I haven't) if the scale is the same...we're mad.
This is just a venting post, don't feel the need to compliment me or make me feel better. I just needed to get it all out.