So on Tuesday, Jake went to school and then after lunch time I get a call from Austin telling me that the school is trying to get a hold of me to tell me to come get Jake. Apparently he started feeling yucky, went to the nurse and had a temperature of 104!!!! How did I miss that one?! I felt horrible for him and went to get him as soon as I got the call. When we came, he spent the rest of the day in bed watching television. I made an appointment that evening to see his doctor on Wednesday in the morning. That night, Kora started feeling really yucky too. Her fever came back and she was sniffling and coughing all night long. When we woke up, I called the doctor and begged them to let me bring Kora to Jake's appointment as well because I though she had the same thing. When we get there, the Nurse Practitioner tells us that a form of pneumonia had been getting in the schools and they has seen a lot of it. She said it was HIGHLY contagious within families (hello, me, Austin, Kora, Jake...) and was a weaker strand of the regular pneumonia. It was called "walking Pneumonia" because just walking by someone will cause you to catch it or pass it. She said it starts out with a high fever for a string of days that won't break and along with it comes all the sneezing, sinus crap. I knew they had it before she even did the test because I KNEW that was what me and Austin had. After the blood test, sure enough, they were both positive. We got some antibiotics, nasal spray, eye drops and more Motrin to keep the fevers down and we were on our way home...back to bed!
The only little toot NOT to get it is Miah and I'm just PRAYING he somehow gets away without it. I'm just glad the kids didn't get it as hard as me and Austin, that was HORRIBLE. It was really tricky with them because it came and went and didn't show up for a couple days and then BAM, it's there again! Jake is home again today and won't go back until Friday - doctor's orders.
Along with all of this, I've been preparing for a big huge thing that I'll tell you about later AND I've been dealing with the stress of staying here in Texas instead of moving. That's right, you heard me. That's the thing that got me so depressed. After fasting and praying, Austin and I have decided that it's best for me to stay HERE with the kids while only HE goes to VA. It's going to be VERY hard for me. I don't like the answer at all, but I KNOW it's the right answer because I have a sense of relief and comfort knowing that I'm staying. The time he will be gone is broken up into 6 months, then 3 months. I don't know what kind of break he'll have between the two, but for a total of NINE MONTHS we will be apart :( It hurts my heart to write that. He'll be able to fly down for Jake's baptism and the weekend after the baby is born. I'll probably fly up there to see him in October, just me and the baby and then in November the whole fam will fly up there for his graduation from the 6 months school. So, the time will be broken up with a few visits I can look forward to, but it's still a long time. The longest I've been away from him is 3 months and I thought I was going to DIE. Plus I only had two kids then and now I'll have FOUR. The reason for this decision has to do with safety, financials and convenience for the kids. It's best that I am somewhere where I have help if I need it, the money we will save will go towards our HIDEOUS student loans that are all kicking in and Jake and Kora will be able to stay here to go to school instead of being ripped out, then in and then out again a million times. I HAVE to do this, WE have to do this in order to pave a smoother road for the future.
It's just frustrating because we've been married for almost 10 years and it still feels like we're just treading water. If I look back to where we started, of course, we've come a LONG way. But in the moment I feel like we're getting NO WHERE. I keep feeling like I can SEE the light at the end of the tunnel but every time we get closer to it, it gets pushed back farther away from us. And now this, another push back. 9 more months FURTHER away from the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not complaining, I know this is Heavenly Father's plan, but it's hard not to be sad and frustrated about it. Plus I feel like we've WAY overstayed our welcome here at my parent's house. I know this is not the case, but I feel really unwanted and in the way so to speak. My kids are crazy and loud and they occasionally break things and every time something happens my stomach cringes because I hate that I'm going to have to be here for 9 more months of them wrecking the place.
I wish there were another way and no matter how many ideas I run through my head to figure something out, it just doesn't feel right. I need to suck it up and DEAL with it. I was feeling like this was what I was supposed to do several weeks ago after we fasted but I didn't want to tell anyone because I was scared that THEY might be feeling the same way and that would confirm an answer to many many prayers. An answer I didn't want to hear. I'm upset, but it a way I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I am ABLE to pray for an answer so I make the right decision for my family. I'm thankful that I have the gospel and I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us. NO matter how different, it's especially for us. He knows what Austin and I have been through the past 10 years and I know that if we keep following his plan, we will be blessed. I have to just keep reminding myself of this when I start feeling down about things.
So that's that. We'll be here...Austin won't. But that's okay, it's all going to work out. I know it will.