Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A mother lion and her cubs

I'm feeling obliged to talk about this topic because it was recently brought up in a conversation between my mom and I AND I've talked to Amy about this before as well. I'm feeling like there is a consensus on this subject so I had to share.

The subject came up as I was telling my mom about a kid on Jake's bus (see I told you, the bus is rotten). There's a kid on Jake's bus that has threatened to "kick Jake's butt" if Jake ever sits by him again. Jake didn't take this message to heart so the next day he chose to sit by the boy again and see what would happen (he's not my kid, I would have avoided that boy like a poopoo diaper). Well when he sat down, the boy told Jake, "you better get up in 5,4,3..." and he continued to count down to Jake's butt whoopin'. Well Jake, being the stubborn donkey decides he's not movin and he continues to sit next there lookin straight forward, with no reaction as the kid counts down. When the kid reached 1, he faked a punch to Jake's jaw but stopped only about an inch from Jake's face. Jake felt proud, like he had called the boys bluff and when he came home to tell us all about the story we all felt proud for Jake as well (more so Austin than me).

Okay so I thought he had conquered this bully and everything was fine, but no. A few days later, Jake tells me that the same kid (let's call him snot face from hear on out) continues to mock Jakob and tells him, to his face, that he can't stand him. I asked Jake if he knew WHY the boy didn't like him and he said because Jake talks too much. Jake said that at lunch he sat across from snot face and he continued to mock Jake and laugh at him the entire lunch period. Now picture in your head, my sweet Jake telling me all of this with his sad innocent face (totally playing me). I started fuming. Smoke was exiting my ears at an amazing rate. I felt hot inside, I wanted to scream or hurt something or someone.

Here's where the lion comes into play. We, as mothers are like lions with our cubs. We play with them, romp with them, discipline them and sometimes even swipe their butts if they do wrong, but the SECOND another lion OR cub tries to discipline them or treat them wrong, we will switch into attack mode like crazy beasts at the top of the food chain. What causes this mad maternal instinct? The father lion doesn't have that same attack mode and you would think they'd be more likely to attack than the mother lion. It's so silly when you think about it, but so serious when it's happening. When Jake told me about this boy my brain starting running a million miles a second trying to plan my attack on snot face. I thought about going up to Jake's school for lunch and having Jake point him out so I could confront him and threaten HIM to leave Jake alone. Isn't that silly? Snot face is just another cub, why do I, as a full grown mother lion feel the need to pounce another cub?

Have you ever noticed when you go to one of those hard foam play places in the mall all the mothers around the edges? It's like a full blown jungle out there. All of the mother lions have their ears perked and are on edge just waiting to attack. It's crazy!

Another thing is that we feel ridiculous attacking another cub so we try to make it inconspicuous, but WHY?! We KNOW all the other mother lions are doing it, so why do we need to hide? Because we feel ridiculous. We teach our children not to get upset or angry at silly things and to control their tempers, but then we go out and became wild beasts with fangs and claws and drool dripping from our jaws as we threaten tiny cubs.

I'd like some feedback on this subject, please tell me that me, my sister and my mother aren't the only three mother lions on the face of the earth. Reassure me that you other lions out there do the same ridiculous things we do.


Tara said...

totally normal! Been there! But I have to say, at least for me, it has gotten better as they have grown. I think Bill is the reason in my case. He has helped me to see that the best thing I can do for them, is to not let them see me react, maybe help them problem solve, and mostly let them figure it out for themself. It has been SOOOOO hard to do that, and I think there are times when we do need to step in. But over the last 2 years as I have been trying to calm the lioness in me, I have seen Jade grow and be more confident in her dealings with other kids, and her understanding about "over-reacting" when something is truly no big deal, or how to handle the things that ARE a big deal. Bill has been all about giving her tools and skills to deal with bullys, and as I have stayed out of those situations, she has become even stronger. I still find myself wanting to go and talk to punk kids every now and then, but I keep those feelings hidden, (I still try to be nice to them when I visit the class), and just say, "well, that sound tough, do you have any ideas about what your going to do?". It's taken some practice, but the lion mom is a much calmer mom as of late. :) (it will probably get worse as she becomes a teenager, so post this question again in 5 years)

Tara said...

oh, and sorry that is so long, I have been on a LONG COMMENT craze when I blog early in the morning, or late at night. Sorry. :)

Amanda said...

Totally understand:) Loved that post! I want to know what happened with all of this?????

Anonymous said...

I absoluetly love your introduction to this posting! It is so true, when the twins were about 8 they were playing soccer and this one kid kept tripping one of my kids and the ref would not call it. Next thing everyone knew I was out on the field during the game ripping the kid a good one. But its what moms do(or atleast some of them) and that is what we need to remember is that it starts at home. I would bring it to transportations attention so that they can watch the boy. If he did it to Jake he has done it before.Hope all of the other kiddos are doing well.

Lindsay said...

what about the other lionesses of the pack... i believe that within a pack that all the lionesses watch all the cubs... when i read your story III wanted to punch snot face. I wanted to go to jake's school and rip his new "friend" a new one. Maybe it's because i have anger problems... or maybe it's because i'm a lioness aunt.

Anonymous said...

This happened to Jack on the bus this year too! Jack's in 1st grade and the other boy was in 3rd. I told Jack to tell the boy that if he bothered him again he would get his 15yr old brother after him. Chris and his friends were very happy to go up with me to the bus stop the next day. Jack did remember to tell the boy about his big brother and there has not been any further problems...hehehe


Amy Herfurth said...


Thats all I have to say!