Last night was rotten.
Lover and I watched AI together and all was well.
I even got up off my cozy spot on the couch to get him some grapes when he said he wanted some. Kinda like in the olden times, when women would feed grapes to their Lovers.
We got in bed and I was cozy in my warm spot.
I had the blankets tucked around me just right.
I remembered that Izey had accidentally set my iHome alarm which was in the kitchen.
I knew he had set it because it woke the entire house at 6am the morning before.
I didn't know how to UNset it.
So I needed it unplugged.
I played the poor sweet girl card.
"Ooops. I need my iHome unplugged and I'm SooOoOoOOooo cozy here in my bed. Lover? Lover???? LOOOOOOVERRRR????"
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN.
Lover turned into Satan.
He threw the covers off of his body.
He started yelling profanities.
Storming. Stomping. Screaming down the hall.
Then he came back into the bed,
and rolled over away from me.
Should I say ANYTHING or just ignore him?
My thoughts got the best of me and I bursted out in angst,
"EXCUSE ME?! I just HAVE to say something. What you just did was the JERKIEST, JERK thing you could have EVER done. I have NEVER, EVER complained to you that I have to get up with August EVERY SINGLE NIGHT at LEAST 2-3 times a NIGHT. UP. OUT OF MY COZY BED. I have to interrupt my DEEEEEP sleep, and all my wonderful dreams and get UP to feed him and then I have to try to go BACK to sleep. TWO or THREE times a night. A NIGHT. Times that by 5 MONTHS of nights. SO for you to throw such a BIG FAT FIT for just having to get out of your cozy spot ONE TIME to help me out is just freakin JERKY!!!!"
Then I decided I didn't even wanna SLEEP next to Jerky McJerkface so I grabbed my pillows and blanket AND my iphone (I can't breath without my phone) and I left him to sleep on the couch.
And then it began.
The everlasting texting.
I decided I would SHOW Lover, just what my night is like.
For good times.
10:48 pm, I text:
FYI - I just got outta my bed as I was falling asleep to get Gus.
10:49 pm, He texts:
Come back to bed. I love you and I'm sorry.
(but Lover knows I don't accept text apologies.
And I stayed on my couch, ignoring his swoons.)
2:05 am, I text:
Here I am again, outta my cozy bed, interrupting my good dreams to go take care of Gus like usual.
3:08 am, I text:
Up again. I heard someone goin to the bathroom.
6:11 am, I text:
Up again with Gus.
And then at 6:45, he kissed me on the head and went to work.
I wanted to punch another hole in the wall.
I got up and went on with my day.
To the park across the street to play with friends.
But the texting didn't stop.
10:31 am, He texts:
There once was a girl that loved me, now she hates me. If only I could convince her of my love for her and how sorry I am, she would then love me once more.
10:35 am, He texts:
Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I can't sleep without you.
10:42 am, He texts:
I need you baby. I hate it when you are mad at me.
(all while I sat, ignoring his texts and reading them to my friends, Buuahhahah!)
And then he did the unthinkable.
HE CAME HOME FOR LUNCH.
In front of all my friends!
And he kissed me. And he passionately swooped me up in his arms and dipped me as he announced to the ENTIRE park that he was madly in love with me and made an AWFUL mistake.
But for real, he did love me.
And he came home specifically to tell me he was sorry.
And then he turned into,
I GUESS I'll forgive him.