Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I hate lent

So. I do. I hate it.
I never talked about it after that because I failed...
This year I keep hearin all this talk about lent again.
*Imagine in a real annoying high pitched squeaky Christian voice*
"This year for lent I'm going to give up negativity!"
"I'm giving up fattening foods for lent, yay!"
All I can say is freakin GROSS.
Why the crap do I gotta give up anything anyway?
I mean, I freakin fast for 12 days every year.
Do lent doers do that?
I know I know, I hear what you're sayin.
"Jessica, you're so rude. That is someone's religion you're bashing, Oh my gosh Jessica, why would you have to do lent anyway, you're not Catholic, stop making a big deal out of it."
Okay, but here's the thing.
No, I'm not Catholic, but I like the IDEA of giving something up for a good cause.
Now, the IDEA of doing something and actually DOING it, are two totally different things.
And FYI, smarty pants, I'm not bashing anything.
Just venting so chill...
anonymous? You hear that?
Anyway, I thought long and hard for something to give up.
Pff, yea right!
Too juicy, and then what would I talk about when I was drinking my cokes?
Oh shutup, you know you all gossip you liars.
BUAHhahHAhahahahaHAhaHahhah. No.
Spending Money?
Doing it, thanks to Dave Ramsey.
I seriously couldn't think of ONE thing
that I'd be willing to part with for like 40 days and 4o nights.
So I came up with a plan.
I should do lent.
It's a good example to others.
So for lent I'm giving up...
and in case you're wondering who I'm talking about.
Well, I'll tell you,
No one.
I have none.
All of my friends are completely and totally 100% useFUL.
Win Win for me.
Now if by chance I come across a useless friend during lent,
too bad for them.
In the meantime,
<-------------------------You see all those pretty faces over there in those boxes?
Well, you're all stickin around!
**spirit fingers**


Anonymous said...

I got worried for a second because you and I we never get to hang out ya know, oh but one day we will! we will! Is it really forty days you give up something?

Goodnight moon said...

I'm giving sex up for Lent...that's an easy, no brainer for me!

Valinda said...

Yay for me! I have friends who do lent too, it's a very intriguing concept.

Lindsay said...

eek, amber. NO. never. and as for you... good job.. i'm ALWAYS doing YOUR lent. i can't STAND useless friends. it's like being in a relationship that nobody cares about! that's why i've sworn off useless friends.

Ashley Stone said...

keep your eye out for those useless friends girl!!! ; )

Erica said...

I gave up Facebooking. Seeing as how more than half my "friends" on there are people I haven't seen in 10 years and barely said a word to when I did know them, I suppose you could consider a good percentage of them "useless". But, I don't want to consider them "useless" because each of them adds a little brightness to my day. So I suppose I'm just trying to do without "useless knowledge". Don't get me wrong, I ADORE facebooking and all the trivial information swarming all over my newsfeed. How else will I know what so and so ate for breakfast, or you-know-who is watching on tv, etc, etc. But, I found I was getting on the computer waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy too often and needed to instead help my girls with a puzzle or toy, or just spend time staring at them. It's not so bad and I have realized my time is better spent, but I'll be the first to log on come Easter morning and will enjoy every second :) But, maybe once or twice a day will suffice this time around :)

andi said...

I'm not giving up anything, either. I'm with you- fasting for 12 days a year (and I just gave up sugar, dairy, meat, and bread for 21 days...) I think that's enough.

Maybe you should give up lent for lent :)

***** said...

Genius. It is a win win idea. Lent cracks me up.

Jess said...

Bahahah I love it! You make me laugh. Hmm for lent I gave up giving up anything... that works right? Great.
Since everything I love I either already have had to give up thanks to the husband being in Afghanistan and well everything else helps to keep me sort of normal and balanced while he is gone. So that pretty much leaves giving stuff up. haha I love my logic.

Shannon said...

JUST for lent, I'm going to give up all of my STD's (or STI's as they call them now). I'm THAT awesome.

Unknown said...

i've tried doing lent in the past too....same reason as you, and same outcome! hehehe.

thank goodness for always give me reasons to smile :)