Friday, December 5, 2008

Weekly Wanna-Be

In an attempt to make my blog more entertaining for my viewers as well as embrace this new city I live in, I have come up with a new weekly post I'll be doing. It's called the weekly wanna be. If you've ever met me, you KNOW I love to impersonate people I come in contact with to make others laugh. I do, I love this. I know it's probably wrong, but I love it. I love being someone else's funniest self. Living here in Jville has allowed me to see SO many different types of people that I've never come across before. As much as I would LOVE to take pictures of random people and their weirdness...I think it's cruel to bash some poor innocent victim on my blog when they have no idea they are being bashed on real live internet for the world to see. But, I also feel that NOT displaying their weirdness in some form or fashion is a complete waste of laughter! SOOO, I have decided to offer up my OWN self as meat for the internet world to throw laughs at in order to entertain you with people I come across. Each week I'll impersonate someone for you to laugh at. Or maybe just look at and wonder why I think I'm so funny. If I'm boring you, do tell...I'd hate for you to see my "Weekly Wanna-Be" title and then shrug and walk away. OH and feel completely 100% free to bash my stupidity in every video...that's what I'm there for!!



So this weeks wanna-be is a girl at the gym. She was like super buff on the top half of her body and them super wide on the lower half so what better person to play her than myself, right? She thought she was all that. She gave me dirty stares as she got on her treadmill in front of me but I just smiled. Then my Britney Spears 'Piece of Me' song came on my iPod and I felt tough enough to kick her bootie. But I didn't. But it would have been funny. So she was quite the interesting treadmiller...if that's even a word. She started off a slow walk to warm up...normal...then she pumps up the speed to like 6.5 but she's walking and anyone who KNOWS treadmills knows that's a REALLY fast walking pace. I have long legs and that's even too fast for me. Like might as well run, right? Then she starts this flailing motion with her arms and legs as if she's skiing and she keeps this up for like 10 minutes straight!! The whole treadmill was shaking and wobbling but she was all serious and intense. Even funnier (but I don't portray this in the video) she kept lifting up her hand and clicking it at the TV like she was changing the channel but she didn't have a remote...just air. And then she'd laugh and do it again and again. I think she was on crack. The guy next to her wasn't even looking at her as she was making such a HUGE spectical of herself. But then again he had a backdrop haircut. What's a backdrop haircut you ask? Well it's almost like a mullet but not because he was bald on the top and just had really long hair from the crown down to his shoulders. So him not thinking she was freaky doesn't mean anything. I was looking around to see if anyone else was watching her and thinking she was nuts, but nothing! I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. Oh and let me warn you that I made this video the minute I came home so I wouldn't forget exactly how it went. So please excuse my wet sweat butt, workout clothes and nasty sweaty hair small head and tomato face (see Kempy...told ya). Enjoy!

21 comments:

dena said...

You are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid. I'm laughing so hard and Elijah's requesting to see it again and again.

I have noticed that in most of your videos you scamper out of the camera view without eye contact. So, I challenge you for your next week's wanna be to give us a little blurb eye to camera eye so we can feel like we get to SEE and laugh more AT you!

The Willis Family said...

OMG!!! Seriously!!!! I'm freakin crying right now from laughing so hard! Thanks for doing that, because I just got my weekly work-out to my abs by laughing so hard! Thanks! See, your getting me into shape and I'm not even in the gym with you.....yet that is:)

I love Miah's reaction!!!! He was really getting into it too!

Okay, so once I move there, you might have to do more then just a weekly "wanna be", it might be more like a daily thing!

Tooo stinkin funny!!!!!

David and Teresa said...

Jess
You forgot "pointing the remote but had no remote thing" and that is what I was waiting for the most. Yes, I see what you say when you say 6.5 is fast so might as well run, right?
Mutha

Tami said...

Okay, this was funny! I hate it when I see those people at the gym and no on else seems to notice!

Laura said...

i like how you smacked Miah and he says, "owww..." kind of laughing because he doesn't want the blog world to know his mom beats him up. I enjoyed the flailing and hairdo floppage too.

Camilla said...

OMH!!! I love it. That would have been the most entertaining run. Gotta love when people are seriously thinking they are all that. Fun video.

nat said...

ok that made my day...that was funny!!!!!!!! keep it up!!!!!!!!!!

Valinda said...

If all of the wanna be videos are this great, I will SO be reading every one! I think the workout clothes just add to the ambiance, I also don't think I'm coordinated to even move that way. Thanks for all the laughs.

Deanna said...

You're such a dork! That was hilarious! I bet she would have been okay with you getting her on video for all the world to see...she probably would have been flattered and told all of her friends she was going to famous because of her moves. Or...maybe there was a hidden camera there to catch the reactions of those around her and YOU will be on TV.

And now I need to go get on my treadmill to see just how that skiing move works.

Amanda said...

YOu are too much! hee, hee.....I love the hitting Miah at the end and he just laughs it off--poor kid!

that was more exercise that you just did in 28 seconds than I have done since L was born!

Lindsay said...

okay... so my video won't play right so i didn't have ANY audio BUT... it doesn't matter because it was almost funnier withOUT sound... like a silent movie... and i like the build up to the actual flailing... it was perfect... my laugh got louder and louder and by the end was full volume.... excellent work, my friend... excellent.

Dana said...

funny.... I really needed that laugh...

Jess said...

You crack me up (and Miah thought you were pretty funny, too!), but where was the "pretend" remote action?!?

Aymee said...

Love it. Although I think you need to make another video, this time with the remote moves...just so we can get the full effect:)

Aymee said...

Oh, and thanks for taking care of Summer...and rubbing it in my face, Fool! That's okay, soak it up as much as you can because she will be mine in two years!

Bonnie said...

Ha! You are so retarded! But it was nice to see you again! In all your sweaty nastiness. If you can remotely remember the crazy flailing arm eliptical girl from Quantico... you seriously need to try it! Gah! That was so funny!
Such a nerd!

Froggylady said...

That is hilarious!

I bet you're getting a lot more of a work out now that you don't have Bonnie and Amber to keep you from exercising with all their chatter.

Amy Herfurth said...

Ok, that was freakin funny...but you would probably make fun of me if you saw me on the treadmill...everyone else does at 24 hr fitness!! I don't mind though because it gives them entertainment...and dancing as if I am in a Britney Spears video is the only way I can work out and not get bored out of my mind!!!

Heidi said...

That was AWESOME...pure entertainment...you are a MESS...keep it coming though...I love it!!

Jess said...

I love the video. And especially the evidence of your sweatiness. But did you know my stomach gets totally nasty too? I've got a great story about it that involves sunless tanning solution gone wrong! Are you dying to know?

David and Teresa said...

Pardon me Kempy Lulu
but I doubt that you ever have anything gross about your cute little body. I am dying to know what the story entails but still i do not believe it happened.
Mutha o' JLO