Sunday, September 14, 2008

Let me show you why I love him

Today we were having one of Austin's friends over for dinner. Jones is his name, not showing up is his game. Nerd. Anyway, while I was slaving over a yummy spaghetti dinner (which I hate but I made anyway because my Austin loves it ever so much) I realized I forget to pickup some yummy Texas Toast to go along with the meal. In most cases, I wouldn't bother getting the toast because it's hard enough for me to plan to prepare a meal. The side items are bonus items that my family usually NEVER gets BUT, since company was coming and I like to create the illusion that I actually make full course meals for my family each night, I wanted the toast.
I yelled for my henchmen...oops, I mean Austin and told him I forgot the toast and I needed him to go fetch it. I mean buy it. Sorry. Here is the cute boy I'm speaking of studiously working on his order (for the Marines, not the order I gave him for the toast, hehe).
So off goes Austin to the store.
Before I go on, I need to preface this story by telling you about my favorite Father in Law (and my only one). Several years ago we used to live with Austin's Dad aka Keith, aka PoPs. On countless occasions Pops would venture to the grocery store alone, which would always result in an exciting return. Something happens to the Lowe family men when they go to the store alone. I think they drop their brain in the driveway because once they get to the store they have absolutely no idea why they are there, what they are getting and why they need what they are putting in their basket. All responsibility and mature reasoning goes out the window and they begin to frantically grab items like a 4 year old in a store full of candy. It's almost like they are reliving their adolescents when they would go to the store with their mothers asking for yummy temptatious (not a word but it should be) items only to be turned down with a big fat "NO". I think they feel like they can finally get those items they asked for without anyone saying no, so they just grab and grab with their eyes shut, drool dripping from their foaming mouths, their arms flailing in the wind throwing random delicious items in their cart like mad men!!!
So...
When Austin came home this is what he had to show from his trip.
Texas Toast.
Good one baby, that was on the list. It was the ONLY thing on the list. This blog post should be done now because this is ALL he should have gotten but it's not over...
Strawberry Frosted Pop Tarts
Hmm...not on the list but I'll let it slide because we WERE out of quick breakfast items and it's good to have a breakfast item the kids can eat in the car on the way to school since we're usually running late. Good thinkin lover!
What? You're not done? There's more in your bags?

Red Bull

Okay, I don't see a reason for this but you say you need it at work because you get so tired so easily. Whatever. That's fine, now let's get rid of these bags.

Huh? There's more?

1 Bag of Original Ruffles and

1 Bag of Hot n Spicy?? BBQ chips

You think the kids need more chips for their lunch? But they BUY their lunch babe. We don't need these. I don't even like Hot and Spicy anything. No way...you have MORE?

A JUMBO bag of Reese Peanut Butter Cups
Okay this is just getting out of hand. These are 100% unnecessary.

Sara Lee French Cheesecake
What the? Who ARE you? What the crap IS this?
And if that isn't enough...


Movie Theatre boxes of
Nerds
Sour Patch Kids
2 Gobstoppers
and a 6 pak of Hershey's Chocolate Bars
HOLY COW LOVER!! Are you PMS-ing or something? My word!

This is total madness, am I right?!! Flashbacks to living with Pops and his grocery store runs.

So THAT'S why I love my sweet Austin. He always surprises me and brings me yummy items to make my butt get larger even when I'm trying my SUPER hardest to work out every SINGLE day, eat healthy and lose this dreaded baby fat.
I love you baby *kiss*

17 comments:

Bonnie said...

ok, from one big-booty hoochie to another... you should probably not eat all that junk... you should probably bring it to baby-sitting duty tomorrow and probably share it :-)
Especially the hershey's... yum! My fave!

Bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dena said...

I am SO laughing. This must be part of the male gene. This is EXACTLY why I cringe anytime Ernie embarks on his own shopping journey. Approximately 5 years ago, we had friends (2 couples) to stay for the weekend. Ernie journeyed out to "get some food" for the weekend and came back with $40 (YES, I counted it up!) of ice cream confections....ice cream snickers, blue bell, drumsticks, ice cream sandwiches, and much much more. And, of course, on top of that chips, chips, and more chips. These were guys he went to high school with, so it's as if he flipped back into his 18 yr old brain. I guess back then there were only 2 food groups....ice cream and chips.

I am also laughing because I noticed, but I think you failed to mention, that under all those movie style boxes (quite sure Austin was thinking of the family....stocking up for the next mattress party) was a People magazine. Was this his peace offering?

SM said...

I, too, was wondering about the People mag...

That's completely hysterical! Not only did he bring home 99 things NOT on the list, it was basically all junk!

Valinda said...

LOL my man brings back very similar things when he goes to the store too!I've been as psycho as cutting pictures out of the ads and things still show up I have no need for. :)

Amanda said...

Okay that is FUNNY! Steve has been doing all the big grocery shopping since L was born. And I tell ya he spends $75 MORE each trip than I would! GGGRRRR!

Lindsay said...

i kinda wish Enos was more like this... he DOES seem to end up coming home with more things than were on the list... but they are usually just things i forgot. Not candy and stuff... i'm the one who tends to get that kind of stuff... that last one made me laugh out loud... i mean really? boxes of movie theater sized candy? how is that important? what are you doing in line to lose focus that easily? That's awesome.

Marnie said...

So true! I can totally relate. In fact, I am going to show Kevin this post to prove that I am not the only wife who isn't thrilled by his "extras". I guess we SHOULD be grateful that at least they ARE willing to shop for us...

redheadsmom said...

Wow, that was funny! I was laughing out loud, literally!

Janae said...

That's so great. My dad used to always come home with sugar wafers. It was his signature.

I can totally see Raymond doing the exact same thing in thirty years.

the ragsdales said...

I LOVED your description of men being told "no" for so many years, and then, suddenly they realize they CAN have whatever they want, so they frantically grab it. This is why I HATE sending my dear husband to the grocery store/Walmart. If I ask him to go get me, let's say 2 apples, he comes back with 7 and says I can use the rest later. (This is because he is not really paying attention to how many items I am wanting). If I asked him to go get TX Toast...he'd probably come back with 4 different kinds saying he wasn't sure which one I wanted--but HELLO you HAVE a PHONE- USE IT! And THEN he throws in all sorts of random extras - usually including a CD, some hunting stuff, odd chips, and definitely something sweet. I loved this post.

Laura said...

i think Austin must like you with a little more junk in the trunk. Please it all of it, show me the empty boxes, and make me feel a little better. I picked up one of those jumbo bags of chocolate candy for Halloween at Sam's---it's already 3/4 gone.

Jess said...

HA! It's like he stole someone else's cart! Did he buy you the People magazine? Marc ALWAYS comes home with junk AND a gossip magazine to make me happy! I'm glad to see other hubbies do the same!

Misty said...

I love it! Can you get stationed here? I would hit it off with Austin!

Tara and family said...

Oh my gosh, yet another reason you are blessed. Bill will get EXACTLY what I put on the list, during his 2 or 3 trips to the grocery store during the whole year. Well, maybe he will get a bag of oreos for himself, but that's it.

Tatiana said...

I would have sympathy for you but guess what? I've got my own shopper! I hate to go to the store because it's a whole process of taking four children so I send Brent. Often he forgets what he went for and on occasion will buy what I asked for... like the time he bought me a $4.00 tomato! Where did he go to buy it, CHINA?

The Burns Family said...

That is halarious, but I do the same thing. Chris gets soo mad! No wonder I need to lose some weight.