Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Day at the Zoo (and other priceless adventures)

What started out as a good idea yesterday, turned into a BAD idea then a good idea then a bad idea then a good idea over and over again TODAY.
So let us begin. Yesterday I got the bright idea of going to the National Zoo in DC. I looked it up online and to my wonderful surprise…I found out it was FREE! I love free things. It’s considered part of the Smithsonian so they don’t charge you a single dime to get in (I found out later how they make up for all that freeness). I sent out a big email to all the Delta Company wives telling them that I was attempting to venture to the zoo with my grubs and anyone brave enough to be seen with us could meet us there. SO yea…no one replied. WAIT…one person did, Bonnie. Let me tell you about her…
So my Austin told me a few weeks back (before I moved here) that I would probably like this Bonnie character because not only is she a member, she’s really normal and she's probably the ONLY other wife with kids old enough to walk. I asked him to elaborate on what normal meant. I don’t consider myself normal so to me normal doesn’t sound so great. These were his words, “She’s a cross between you and Jessica (Kempton).” I was like…what the? How does that work? I told Kempton about this immediately and we were both interested to see what a “cross between us” would look and act like. Here’s a picture of Kempton if you forgot.
(conveniently next to a picture of me on the left!)

When Bonnie called me to say she’d like to go, I was ecstatic! Yay!! A friend! And even better a Jessica/Jessica friend. On the phone she was totally cool, really down to earth, not too normal, not too weird. She DID remind me of me a little.

Today, I checked my email only to find out she had changed her mind about going because of some other plans (less important I’m sure). I was bummed, but we were still up for the trip so I started getting ready. Then the phone rings. It’s Bonnie. Now she’s back on. Okay. Still…we were going regardless of friends so that was just a plus. She planned on calling my cell phone once she got there so we could find each other since we've never met.

Amazingly, we were able to get out of the door at the time I planned with lunchables and baby gear all packed. The ride sucked. The traffic here is horrid and we kept hitting clumps of it every 10 minutes. DC is about an hour away so that was absolutely no fun. To make the ride more enjoyable I was on the phone with Kempton. I told her all about the meeting of the Jessica/Jessica. We were both excited. I talked her head off only to realize that my phone was dying. It didn’t hit me until about 40 minutes into the conversation that I NEEDED my phone because Bonnie was gonna call me when she got there to meet up. I got off the phone with Kempton and about 2 minutes later…it died. UGHHH, now what?!!? I dug around in the console for that $30 charger I bought with my phone…NOTHING. Dangit. I started thinking. I wasn’t familiar with where we were, but I took a chance and exited just HOPING to get lucky and find an AT&T store nearby. Almost…I found a Verizon who gave me quick directions to a nearby AT&T. I found the store after about 20 minutes of driving back and forth and around and then back and forth again. Ran in to get the charger only to see a line of about 5 people waiting and two people already talking to the ONLY two employees about major heated issues. I grabbed the charger and paced hoping they would notice my urgency and see that I didn’t need consulting…just a quick charger. NOPE. I had $40 cash in my bag and the charger was $30. After 8 minutes of waiting and still no progress, I raised the charger in the air and said, “I’m buying this $30 charger!” I put my cash on the counter and said, “Here’s $40, keep the change, I got kids…I gotta go!!!” The man looked at me and just nodded surprisingly. I was urked inside about spending that kind of money on a stinkin charger that I already had AND I could buy on ebay for probably $10 but I needed the phone to get the call from the Jessica/Jessica so it was done.

As soon as I got in the car I charged up the phone only to see a voicemail. Hmm…it was from Bonnie. “My husband called…blah blah blah….he needs lunch…blah blah…I can’t go…” AHHHHHH!!! I was totally bummed. Jake asked if I was mad about wasting $40 on that charger and I said, “No, because I still needed it to get her msg.”

So meeting the Jessica/Jessica wasn’t going to happen today but that was okay. We were still gonna go to the zoo and have fun. After all this drama the kids were starving so they ended up eating their lunchables in the car.

The next drama came from driving through DC. Okay, the people here are FREAKIN CRAZY!!! We passed about 500 runners and double that amount of tourists, the capitol, the pentagon, the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, an old man who decided to walk in front of my car as I’m driving about 50mph and had to slam on my brakes sending Isaak’s brains into my lap, and even a group of protesters seen here. I like the giant blow up rat…brings back memories. Jake said someone should make a movie about our adventures, and I agreed.

The best part was when an idiot man going the opposite direction as us decided that his lane was going too slow so he needed to get in MY lane going the wrong way. I’m a honker, I’ve always been a honker so what did I do? I freakin HONKED. We were nose to nose in our cars and he’s lookin at me like ‘I’ need to move…uhmm NO. So he jerks his car BACK into HIS correct lane and rolls down his window and screams….”F*%$ YOU!!!!!” Wait a minute. What just happened? The kids were stunned. Jake said, “Uhmm we shouldn’t put that in our movie.” Weird…

Anyway…we finally got to the zoo and it was great. It’s so nice not to be in weather hot enough to melt the makeup off your face and onto your shirt. The breeze was fabulous and the animals were sooo nice!! I’ve never been to a zoo where the animals are actually pretty close and fun to watch.

Just because I left Frederickburg didn’t mean I left the freaks and weirdos there. Can you tell me why a probably 3-4yr old is riding in this baby car seat? Please tell me she doesn’t ride in that in the car. Do these idiots know you can REMOVE that baby carrier and have an actual SEAT in the stroller? Guess not.

Here’s the porcupine…especially for YOU DENA! *wink*

The Panda is like their MAIN attraction. Everything is Panda at this zoo. He was quite precious rubbin his bum on the rock. His eyes were so cute and puffy he almost looked fake. I wanted to grab him and put him in a half nelson just for fun he was so snuggly lookin.

BUT THE BEST PART OF ALL…was the HIPPO!!!! Oh my gosh, I have NEVER in my life seen such a FUN and animated Hippo. They are usually either not on display, or floating in the water with only the top section of their back showing. This guy was awesome! I could have stood and watched him the entire day and so could the kids. They didn’t wanna leave him.

We didn’t stay long because I ended up spending a crap load of mula on food and Isaak wanted to be held the last half (why did I forget my wrap?!?!?!). So that’s where they get you on the freeness. Of course the kids had to eat since they already finished their lunchables and I hadn’t had a single thing all day so I was about to faint and leave four heathens by themselves in a freaky city. The crappy hot dog and cheeseburger “value” meals were each $10. Not so much a great “value”. Also, the map of the zoo was $2 itself which I’ll be saving for future trips.

So the free day ended up being about…

$40 – charger
$2 – map of the zoo
$25 – food
$15 – parking

BUT…the memories?! Ahhh…priceless.

Here’s to meeting the Jessica/Jessica another day!!


Anonymous said...

Ok so, first, I am sure that my husband is wondering 'why in the world is she giggling so much.' Two, I know now why you married Austin... he's totally freakin' awesome! I am absolutely flattered that he thinks I look like a Jessica/Jessica hybrid... and finally, and most importantly... we will meet soon, even if I have to show up on your doorstep uninvited!

Deanna said...

I was laughing at the "we shouldn't put that in the movie" part.

I'm glad you made it ok and had a good time.

Valinda said...

I'm just glad you found it okay! When I was in DC last summer our hotel was at the zoo stop on the metro and I never figured out where the zoo actually was. I'm loving the let's leave that out of our movie part, and I never drove in DC Safire always did and it was definitely an adventure from the passenger seat! Hey you should meet her at the zoo one time!

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing. I know I speak for the rest of us.....I sure am glad you have computer access again! Thanks for my mascot picture....his friend is still living with me. :)

Laura said...

I love exploring when you move to a new place. YOu better practice driving with one arm and finger extended out the window. One of my super best friends lives out in that Oakton. Is that far from you? I should hook y'all up--she has three little ones and is super fun. SHe grew up there so she could fill you in on anything. But then I'd be jealous when she likes you better and I'd send you a dead rat in a box...oh wait, too late.

Jess said...

Hey! Loved the post. Except for the horrible pic of me. Couldn't you have found something more glamorous? Ug.

Can't believe after all the drama you didn't meet her! And we ended our phone conversation for it too! I can't believe you paid $40 for the charger and the sales guys didn't even bother to give you change. "I lauve it!"

Lindsay said...

I don't know that i would have bought another charger.... ew. i hate wasting money on crap like that... especially when i have a perfectly good one at home. I'm glad you guys had fun though.... the hippo WAS the greatest... but i love the bum-rubbing panda. I think i'd join him and we'd be best bum-rubbing friends. what a mess.

Laura said...

I forgot to comment that the photo of Jessica looks oddly similar to the photo of Natalie from PF Chang's--neck wise I mean. You're camera automatically adds like five inches to everyone's necks.

raschel said...

I love the zoo. The hippo was awesome! I've never seen one so playful! In the group picture Isaak looks uncomfortable, like he is taking a poo. I LOVE baby faces.

Hey, remind me what kind of wrap you have again? Is it the Moby thing? I know you said you tried a couple and hated some of them. I can't find that post. I'm lazy.

I responded to your comment, but did it on my blog in case other people want to read weird stories that contain entirely too much information. Plus, talking about boobs on a zoo post would almost be inappropriate. And, during the video research, I saw the big brother video you were talking about. haha! it was very strange.

Amanda said...

this is one of your best pots! it cracked me up! glad u survived!