So yes, we got the news today about what the baby is. Before we went IN to the doctor, I prepped Kora by telling her, "we're gonna be happy no matter what the baby is, right? No throwing fits, okay?" Like my brainwashing method? Well so we all went as a family and she showed us the head, arms, legs, mouth, eyes, nose, oh yeah...and the penis and nut sack (yea, she actually said that!) So I look over at Kora and she has this fake half smile goin on when I say, "Did ya hear that Kora? It's a boy!" The doctor printed out the pictures and I gave them to Kora knowing she would need the most proof out of all of us.
We walked outside talking and joking about having another boy. We told Miah he was going to have a brother and he said, "A brother bear?" like the movie. Everyone was laughing but Kora, she just kept staring at the pictures. I knew she was holding it in because of my pep talk. Her eyes and nose were getting red and it was getting harder for her not to cry. When we got in the car I said, "Kora, I know you’re sad (her chin started to quiver) and if you want to cry, you can." At that point, she just broke down. Austin was hugging her and she kept saying, "I just wanted a little sister so bad." It was painful, I started bawling too because I know how much this hurt her. Even Austin's eyes got a little glassy and then Jake started tearing up too. I think it was harder for all of US to see her so sad knowing there was nothing we could do to make it better. I reminded her that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing and right now he thinks that she and I need to be the only girls in the family. That didn't help, she was devastated.
To try to make things better, I had already planned for us to go shopping for the baby's first few outfits. On the way there she kept holding the pictures and looking at them and then she said, "Maybe it really IS a girl because these pictures just have white and black on them and maybe the lady doesn't really know for sure." UUGGH...a knife in my heart. I explained to her that this lady's job was to take these sonograms and she knows what things to look for so she's probably right. I tried to make her feel better by saying that baby boys are just as sweet as baby girls and her come back was, "Miah's not!" Haha.
At the stores she loosened up a bit and had fun picking out the clothes. I told her she could pick out the first outfit the baby will wear when it comes home so she felt pretty proud. Every now and then she would sway to the pink side of the store and I'd have to pull her back to the blue, but hey...I kept doing that too!
Five minutes ago I asked her if she was feeling better about things and about having ANOTHER brother and she said, "Yeah, I'm feelin MUCH better." So I think it was just the initial realization and shock that she wasn't going to have a sister...well, at least not for now.
Now, many of you are asking me about names and although we are not 100% positive about ANY name, we like Isaak Keith and a few others. This is the part where I get psycho stressed because I want to make sure the name is absolutely PERFECT since the kid WILL have to keep it for the remainder of its life. I hope I'm able to find something that gives me that "right" feeling, ya know? In the beginning I knew it was a boy, but after a few weeks I started feeling positive that it was a girl so I focused on girl names and I found the perfect one that I knew was just "right". Well, now that I won't be using that name, I have to switch gears and at this point none of our boy names give me that "right" feeling just yet. Gimme some time...like 20 more weeks and then I'll have it figured out. OH...and don't ask me what that girl name was, I'm putting that in storage for safe keeping *wink*